Fat (Noun) a natural oily or greasy substance occurring in animal bodies, especially when deposited as a layer under the skin or around certain organs. Synonyms: fatty tissue, blubber, flab, baby fat, spare tire, love handles.
Fat (Adjective) (of a person or animal) having a large amount of excess flesh. Synonyms: plump, stout, over weight, large, chubby, portly, flabby, paunchy, pot-bellied, meaty, ample-proportions, heavy-set, obese, corpulent, fleshy, gross, big-boned, tubby, roly-poly, well upholstered, beefy, porky, blubbery, chunky, pudgy
Fat (Verb) make or become fat. "Numbers of cattle are fatted here."
I know "fat" is just a word. It’s a simple noun and verb but a very complex adjective. When "fat" is used in a descriptive derogatory way or used to diminish or take something away from another it becomes misused. The word "fat" becomes galling and obscene. Why am I taking a stand over a impetuous 3 letter word? Fat has become synonymous with undesirable. Like other derogatory words in our past they may have started out as simply a descriptor but have become far more complex and riddled with insinuation over time.
When you look at the synonyms attached to fat as an adjective you will see that it does not leave one with good feelings. In fact, not one of the synonyms has a positive association unless you are referring to a pig going to slaughter. So is fat just a word, technically yes. It is also a barbed word. Then why do we use it so flippantly? "He got fat." "You used to be so fat." "At least you're not as fat as them." The word is not just hurtful it is also powerfully oppressive.
We as a society were asked to stop using the word retarded for obvious reasons. The word retarded started off as a medical term: Retard (verb): to delay or hold back in terms of progress, development, or accomplishment. Retarded (adjective) less advanced in mental, physical, or social development than is usual for one's age. Retarded is now considered outdated and highly offensive, thank goodness for that. Then why can't we regard the word fat in the same way. Let's make it taboo to use so flippantly.
I take this on personally as words are powerful. The old adage: "Sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt me." We all know is untrue. We thankfully know what people in verbally abusive relationships are just as abused as their physically abused counterparts and heaven forbid someone must endure both kinds of abuse simultaneously. Now I have heard many times it will only bother you if you let it or you are sensitive therefore you need to block out what others say or only you can let others oppress you. Here is where I stand, words are so fucking powerful. It goes beyond simply letting it go or ignoring it. This requires action. It is not ok to call someone fat under any circumstances. I will go a step further, it is not ok to comment on someone’s weight if they have lost or gained. Woah woah woah you say... but I am complimenting this person, they lost weight. This is a good thing. I'm not saying don't congratulate someone; just know your audience, really well.
Why it is inappropriate to comment on a person's weight lost or gained.
When you congratulate someone on losing weight you are inadvertently congratulating them for not being fat. Yes, losing weight is an accomplishment and is a lot of hard work but if you don't know the person or their history this can be particularly triggering. Someone's weight is no one else's business but their own. To congratulate weight loss to reaffirm that smaller is good bigger is bad. Then you say but it’s about health. True, health can be found in weight loss but I also know some very healthy larger people who could out run or out play those who appear to be of healthy size. When I lost 80lbs I was addicted to the kudos what I lost sense of the true purpose of my journey. It became about gold stars and seeking outside validation. People said you must be so happy now that you have lost the weight. I wasn't, I lost a sense of self. The biggest compliment you could give to someone is how wonderful they are as a human being not societal brainwashed version of what beauty should be. Let’s stop buying into the diseased social consciousness of the beauty myth. Let's take the focus off of the outside and dig deeper. Let's evolve into highly empathetic, compassionate, progressive humans. I say lets leave the beauty indoctrination behind.
I'm not here to criticize if you have congratulated weight loss, used the word fat, or if you have said to someone that they are sensitive. I am merely offering a point of view from a stigmatized fat girl who walks with her beautiful body daily on this earth.
Just my two bits.
Hugs & Shit
The Momma
