A Mermaid Named Punchy

I just got back from swimming, momma's night out. I go two times a week Tuesdays and Sundays and I have to say it has done wonders for my body, soul and spiritual state of mind. I feel like a fucking mermaid! No really I do. Each time I go I do 40 laps (1 km) and I do 20 walking laps around the river run but going up stream. After all is said and done, I go in the hot tub, dive to the bottom of the pool in the deep end, I ride the waterside like a boss and float until my hearts content. Really, it is pretty amazing and it is all without kids. Blessed, really truly.

Tonight, I went into the hot tub after my workout, like usual and there were a lot of men in the hot tub, disproportionately. Normally I don't care but tonight, for some reason I was feeling uncomfortable with the gender imbalance. But since I was committed I got right in. As I sat I could hear random mumblings of "muff dive" and "shit she has a smokin' body" etc. ugh. Then there was a lady, a big lady, not too much bigger than my self. She jumped into the pool, made a splash and the group of douche bags yelled out "WOAH!" One Dbag in particular said, "Oh my God she is so fat!" I shot him a look, I stood up from my already uncomfortable seat in the overly-hot Dbag soup, and said, "Really? Listen, I am calling you on your shit, you're an asshole. How about her weight is none of your fucking business." Then all his friends made this face (see pic below). He said something as I exited the hot tub, didn't hear it, I didn't need to. I think my new nickname should be punchy. I was feeling punchy, it is the best way I can describe it. If you put down fat people I will say something, it is just the way I roll.

Anyway, the night resumed. I could not give two shits what they said about me after I left. My only hope is that he thinks twice before doing that again. I went right back to enjoying the bliss of being by myself, being in the moment and swimming like a fucking bad-ass mermaid.

Thing 2 bail count 4 that I saw
No fig bars to count
Note to self: Must buy "inside shoes" for Thing 1 and not at the farmer's market like he suggested.
Thing 1 bananer count: 0
Thing 2 high fiver count: at least 20
New alter ego: Punchy the Badass Mermaid

Hugs and Shit

The Momma

Oh Dear, It Has Been a While...

Sorry bout that... I have been busy? Not busy as in the self-important busy but more like the busy as in school and new schedules in in the fore-front of everyone's mind. It always is if you have a child with autism.

Here are some Thing 1-isms...

Thing 1 says to me tonight, "Momma I don't need to count anymore, I can see it is 20." As he counted 10 pigs in a row parallel with 10 more pigs.

Thing 1 says to me last month, "Momma you need two more teaspoons because you already put two in and you need four." As I came back from answering the phone mid-scoops.

Thing 1 says to me last week, "Momma I need you to go to the store and get puzzles with more pieces please. I need 200 puzzles." I think to myself, shit, I can't even do 200 piece puzzles.

Thing 1 says to me last week, "Momma, I need more blocks." I ask why. He responds with, "Well I need enough blocks for three numbers in a row." I ask, "You mean in the hundreds?" He responds, "Of course!"

Thing 1 says to me, "Momma what is your number?" I respond with, "My number, what do you mean?" He responds frustrated, "Momma what is your number, your number in birthday parties!" I say, "Oh, you want to know my age!" Tilts his head with a get it together look on his face, "Yeah, what is your number?" "I am 36." He then asks, "What is daddy's number?" I respond with, "Daddy's age is 40" He responds with, "Forty cakes! That is a lot of cake momma!"

Thing 1 says to me as we are driving, "Momma how many more lefts and rights do we have to go?" After a minute of figuring it out I say, "We are going 4 lefts and two rights." He then said, "Momma why are we driving in a square?" I then say to him, "You are right buddy, how about you tell me when we get there how many rights and lefts we take." I wasn't going to argue with him. lol

This kid understand numbers. I did not teach him place value, adding, and puzzle doing. He just understands it like a first language. Nutty and sadly not my forte. I think I will be recruiting his math genius father for this task.

Kindergarten, here we come!

Hugs & Shit

The Momma

                                                          This is exciting shit at my house!