A Mermaid Named Punchy

I just got back from swimming, momma's night out. I go two times a week Tuesdays and Sundays and I have to say it has done wonders for my body, soul and spiritual state of mind. I feel like a fucking mermaid! No really I do. Each time I go I do 40 laps (1 km) and I do 20 walking laps around the river run but going up stream. After all is said and done, I go in the hot tub, dive to the bottom of the pool in the deep end, I ride the waterside like a boss and float until my hearts content. Really, it is pretty amazing and it is all without kids. Blessed, really truly.

Tonight, I went into the hot tub after my workout, like usual and there were a lot of men in the hot tub, disproportionately. Normally I don't care but tonight, for some reason I was feeling uncomfortable with the gender imbalance. But since I was committed I got right in. As I sat I could hear random mumblings of "muff dive" and "shit she has a smokin' body" etc. ugh. Then there was a lady, a big lady, not too much bigger than my self. She jumped into the pool, made a splash and the group of douche bags yelled out "WOAH!" One Dbag in particular said, "Oh my God she is so fat!" I shot him a look, I stood up from my already uncomfortable seat in the overly-hot Dbag soup, and said, "Really? Listen, I am calling you on your shit, you're an asshole. How about her weight is none of your fucking business." Then all his friends made this face (see pic below). He said something as I exited the hot tub, didn't hear it, I didn't need to. I think my new nickname should be punchy. I was feeling punchy, it is the best way I can describe it. If you put down fat people I will say something, it is just the way I roll.

Anyway, the night resumed. I could not give two shits what they said about me after I left. My only hope is that he thinks twice before doing that again. I went right back to enjoying the bliss of being by myself, being in the moment and swimming like a fucking bad-ass mermaid.

Thing 2 bail count 4 that I saw
No fig bars to count
Note to self: Must buy "inside shoes" for Thing 1 and not at the farmer's market like he suggested.
Thing 1 bananer count: 0
Thing 2 high fiver count: at least 20
New alter ego: Punchy the Badass Mermaid

Hugs and Shit

The Momma