Just moments before

A candy so sweet
innocent until I eat
can't stop
don't stop
my head is over top
no way to shut it off
I love how others scoff
at my attempts to hold off
but I can't, I can't stop.
They say how can she get so big
just put the food down
I drown in the mound of emotions
devotion to the drug
makes me sound like a sweet thug
under the rug, I am swept
away from feeling
gets my whole head reeling
sugar is so freeing
and makes me so seething
I need a new dream away from the scene
a candy coated hell
it hits me like a spell
round and round in this well
I am drowning
I am out of control sugars tight hold
It has to stop
I can't stop
I rock
I can't rock
I am blocked
Don't stop
I can't stop
I need to get off
this train of indecision
The loud snort of derision
Hitting me with shame
Playing the brain game
addiction is no laughing matter
it makes you even madder
sadder and sadder
I get
from others playing god
take a look at me
outside I'm happy
laughing and flailing
inside I'm derailing
I am internally wailing
I want no one to see
the sugar side of me
but the truth is out there for everyone to see
When you look at another
that person with a mother
a sister a brother a father and another
remember you have the cheap seats
from a distance you can't see
the stories underneath
We were all once innocent like babies
I want to wipe my slate clean
Peace