Fat People Need Allies Too

People of colour have allies, LGBTQ have allies, fat people need allies too. Someone once told me you are only oppressed if you let yourself feel oppressed. I'm calling bullshit. No one is made of steel; even Superman had kryptonite. Anti-Fat microaggressions happen daily, if you are not a bigger person these may come as a surprise to you:

• People innocently commenting on someone else's weight loss and how they look so much better.
• Eating at a restaurant and innocently a friend pushing their plate away when they are done saying, "I can't eat anymore, I don't want to get fat."
• Friends innocently saying you know it's all about moderation or I don't care what they do as long as they are healthy.
• Flipping through channels on TV and pausing at Dr. Phil or Dr. Oz spouting their horrific anti-fat rhetoric.
• Being ignored when you go clothes shopping at clothing stores that don't offer plus sizes.
• Being approached at my gym constantly to buy into their nutrition program.
• My limited options for clothing.
• The comments, hushed whispers, and the stares at my grocery cart. People say well they are probably not talking about you. I have been a fatty for a long time, I am not stupid.
• Rejecting a cat call and being told you're too fat to reject a man's advances.
• Asking for directions and being told I don't think you will make it up that hill that's on the short cut. 
• Sitting and listening to anti-fatties in the mall food court about how disgusting fat people are and how they can't control themselves. I look down to my own tray and start the internal self demoralizing dialogue.
• Riding on the bus and getting stares and harrumphs as my fat ass pours over into the connecting seat.
• People who have never had weight issues in the life offering me unsolicited advice.
• Watching a sitcom and fat jokes are so commonplace no one bats an eye; just canned laughter pinning me down.
• Always wondering if I'm going to fit in places, seats, planes, rides, etc.
• People treating me differently. I have been on both sides and yes there is a big difference. 
• Building up the courage in a restaurant to order what I want versus what I think I "should get" to avoid stares or judgements from the serving staff.
• Guy on the plane insisting the arm rest goes down between us even though it clearly hurts my leg. He gets pissy that I am fat yet our legs never touch. 
• People asking me for weight loss tips because clearly I have tried dieting before. 
• Being someone's "safe friend" because I am not a perceived threat.
• Dancing at a club and a guy wants my number, I say no and he tells me in a condescending tone, "You are rejecting me? I was positive you were a sure thing. Seriously, you are rejecting me."
• Leaving my house in yoga pants because how many times have I heard, "Wearing yoga pants is not a right it's a privilege." 
• Everyday leaving my house and stressed out about what will happen today on the fat front?

If you have done one or more of these things above I am not calling anti-fat. I am simply expressing what you may not know.

People tell me to ignore the haters. I can't, I have to say something.  If I don't say something, who will? Who will call people on their shit? Who will call out the cowards behind the keystrokes? Who will be brave enough to stand up against the anti-fat people and say no when we are treated (at times) like 2nd class citizens? Anti-fat people rarely abuse fat folks in front of others but will say something if given the opportunity being 1 on 1 or if there is a diffusion of responsibility. For the longest time I accepted that people are just mean and they have something going on in their own lives. This still holds true but now I have a voice and have something big to say. People need to be held accountable for racism, sexism, gay-bashing, and anti-fat rhetoric. It is unacceptable. We deserve it.

                                                  

People of colour have allies, LGBTQ have allies, fat people need allies too. Allies that don't throw out "in moderation" or health rhetoric. Real allies love accept and care for each other's happiness. Trust me, fat people are not unaware of their size and how they are made to feel subpar. If you want to be an alli just love, just accept, just care without all the other crap. It is really that easy.