Softball Culture & Co-ed Sport

As I write this I think to myself, this blog will polarize people. You'll either nod furiously in agreement or fight me on it point by point.

I have been playing softball since I was 8 years old. I am hardly new to the game. Years of playing in  sport taught me so much about camaraderie, skills, sportsmanship, and team work. It wasn't always so full of sunshine and rainbows as it is a team sport; male or female drama happens. I played fastpitch as a young girl right into adulthood. At the age of 24 I stopped playing women's fastpitch and moved into a world of co-ed slo-pitch. This is where it began; my fight to be heard.

On a co-ed playing field I have experienced the following things on more than one occasion:

- Men jumping in front of me to catch balls
- Men calling each other pussies and other anti-female inflammatory language
- Men telling me where to stand on the field as if I've never played
- Men calling me a fat bitch
- Men and women in drunk debauchery to the point of it being dangerous
- Men yelling out, "Heavy hitter... literally!"
- Men mocking female players
- Men saying you are only as good as your female players
- Men making sexual assault jokes
Among other sexist, misogynistic statements

The truth is in all my years of playing female sport I have only had a handful of people I have come across who have been disrespectful or unsportsmanlike unlike in co-ed, where it is at almost every game.

So what are you saying then Court? Men are bad? Men can't handle themselves while playing sports? NO, far from it. What I am saying is in sport especially slo-pitch, to start off with the rules are sexist. It already sets us apart with advantages. I am sure in the beginning the divide in the rules were set out to make it a move even playing field. However, it sets a tone for the game. Rules that may have been once needed are now just plain offensive or super offensive to begin with.

I have been told by numerous men that in friendships and in sport jabs at each other are commonplace. Each to their own. Where I interject is where the insults offend fat people, disabled people, people of colour, and women. The following are common co-ed slo-pitch comments:
-You're such a pussy
-Sexual mother jokes
-You throw like a girl
-You run like a girl
-Your team is as only as good as your girls

First off... I am a woman. "Girl" is used for females under the age of 12. Let's break it down shall we?
When you say you throw like a girl, you are insinuating that your throws are lesser than your male counterparts. When a woman is complimented in saying wow you throw like a man, this implies you are better than. So, my super oversimplified example is to demonstrate that sexist language and ideals in co-ed slo-pitch is rampant.

I have also heard by many well-intentioned men, "Well its true, you are only as good as you female players." Whether you think it is true or not the comment is suppressive and sets a tone.
Lets beak this down shall we..

In softball, women are treated like a golf handicap. If your women perform well then your team will have more wins according to that statement. I didn't sign up for that kind of pressure or ass backward thinking. You can show me all the stats in the world to prove it is true, my point does not change. Once again women are put in a negative light and are then by proxy more responsible for losses and mistakes. Am I taking it too literal? No. Women are not responsible nor should be a collective consciousness punching bag for differed responsibility. You are only as good as your team, full stop.

Since the slo-pitch ratios are always less women then men, we feel we have less of a say.  I am not pitting men against women what I am saying is that women in co-ed sport are less likely to speak up. First off we are out numbered and secondly we are treated like we know less about the game. It is the ole "boys will be boys" mentality when sexism occurs. I am outspoken, I point out injustices when it is needed. I can't sit idly by. As a fat woman playing sport I am constantly told where my place is. I have less of a voice and the times when I do speak up I am not supported as if a man said the exact same thing.

Softball culture is drenched in booze, misogyny, sexism, and oppression. Until people speak up and stop being apathetic nothing will change. It’s scary to be that person to say what in unpopular especially when it’s always been that way. For a moment, instead of breaking apart my argument, let’s just say that this is true. How does that make you feel to be a part of something so oppressive? It’s the frog in the pot mentality we have become used to hearing it therefore it desensitizes us. These attitudes are not right, plain and simple. We need to rip out of it and choose different ways of playing in co-ed sport. I know its not on every team or with all men, I am saying that we are all a part of the problem when we don't speak up. Language is important.

Hugs N Shit
The Momma