My day went a little something like this...
Woke up to alarm
only pressed snooze once
miracle
showered, alone
miracle #2
got ready for the work day
got Thing 2 out of bed
got Thing 2 to jump of the hubs to wake him up
classic
the hubs - sacked
Thing two 1 - the hubs nuts 0
went downstairs to find Thing 1
Thing 1 - an accomplished man
cereal check
naked - check
watching peppa pig on tablet - check
found chips and raccooned into bag - check
put his milk in a mug like daddy's coffee - check
built a train city in middle of kitchen floor - check
momma almost died tripping over train set - check
Thomas blaring in the background - check
downstairs computer blaring Calliou game - check
2 fig bars down - check
As I walk down the stairs Thing 1 casually says, "Oh Hi mom" like nothing is up
I returned his hi and kept going downstairs
Not my problem I am off to work
Commute is a bitch
the basement is so far
Tutored 4 awesome possum kids
While tutoring the 4th kid Thing 2 escapes
Thing 2 makes his way downstairs and sits on my lap
Hubs not home from bowling
babysitter can't keep him upstairs
Thing 2 is a klingon
Thing 2 poops
Thing 2 refuses diaper change from babysitter
Thing 2 screaming
I deal with thing 2's butt
I continue with Tutoring
I hate unprofessionalism
let go and let my higher power
babysitter's time is up
still trying to tutor
tutoring kid, cat sitting on kids book, babysitter gone and Thing 2 hiding behind laundry curtain
quiet but concerned
smell of poop returns
its a poonami
hubs comes home late with Thing 1
sick Thing 2 on the hubs
The hubs and Thing 1 gag as they enter the house
Tutoring kid has lifted his shirt to cover nose
I have a scarf wrapped around my head
classic
tutoring over
Hubs claims he is tired and bolts to the bedroom
in my head I say fuck it
put down thing 2 for nap
Let Thing 1 watch the polar express, this time seasonally appropriate
and I curl up on the couch for a 2 hour sleeping extravaganza
BAM
everyone up at 5PM
everyone hangry
No one wants to cook
Load up the fam
go to sushi
Thing 2 grabs wasabi without us noticing and chows down
Take thing 2 outside for a screaming water fit
calms down after sushi lady gives him and mint candy
yay sushi lady
thing 1's new thing is knock knock jokes
Knock knock
who's there
Anita
Anita who?
Anita green wasabi like Thing 2!
Knock knock continues for 10 minutes with 5 year old hilarity
Thing 1 thinks he is the funniest man on the planet
the momma testing out her 50 different kids of fake laughs
success, I think I have found one
Thing 1 thinks I am his #1 fan
Thing 1 is right
After dinner home to bed
Thing 2 bath
shits in bath
shit #3
Thing 1 freaking out a floating poop
Thing 2 laughing
Hose down the things
wished I had my scarf
thinks to myself how I am sick of touching, smelling and breathing in poo particles
Now I sit here
procrastinating work
sore throat coming on
winter rite of passage
looking at my to do list
wanting a back massage instead
I can't wait to get up and do it all again tomorrow
Fig bar count - all accounted for
fig bars eaten by thing 1 - 3
wasabi ball challenge taken - 1
to do list items # 27
wanting a back massage - not a hubs one but a pro one
oh wait #28 get Carter's pants back to his mom
HUGS & SHIT
The Momma
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