Oblivion with the Obvious

Sometimes stating the obvious to someone comes across as a judgment.

Here is an example:

"Wow, you went with black hair and I think you have gotten smaller hope all is well and you're healthy."

Nope, not helpful. Take your own inventory, not others.

Just a tiny thought for today.

Hugs & Shit

The Momma

A Limerick

There once was a man from Belize,
Who had a leg made of cheese,
Today was hot,
So we grabbed a pot,
Fondue on the menu please.

Hugs & Shit,

The Momma

The Fatvocate Strikes Again!

So today I met up with my lovely friend Blennifer and we headed over to the Tri-Cites Kids Health Fair. I have to say, first of all, good show. I applaud the organizers and organizations that came out and participated. Momma got some swag. Secondly, these things attract the mompetitors far and wide.

Mompetitor:

a mom who ascribes to be perfect and better in every way then the other mothers she encounters in her community- and who constantly preaches her parenting methodology to other moms to the extent that it is obvious their validation comes from convincing themselves they are doing a good job at child rearing.

You are at the playground with your kids. A casual chat begins between you and another mom. she asks you if your two year old is potty trained- when you reply your child is still in diapers, the mompetitor in her becomes apparent when she tells you how she toilet trained her kid at six months and a seal just died because of how much space your kid's butt is taking up in landfills. 

Maybe I am being unfair in my judgment but I ask how does one judge the judgers? I say bless them change me. 

Here is the scenario:

1) The Tri-Cities Dental Group is giving out free toothbrushes and toothpaste. Thing 2 loses his shit as toothbrushes are the best thing since Thomas the Tank Engine. Thing 2 demand to open toothbrush. I oblige; shit he wants to brush his teeth. You can't stop that. I know he is going to want to hold the brush for at least an hour. After Thing 2  had a good brush, I tell him just hold it and don't brush. He obliges. Thing 2 take toothbrush in hand to the mini hard plastic castle. Thing 2 is in there for all of 2 minutes when mompetitor #1 comes up to me and says, "You really need to take that toothbrush away from him." I responded with is he brushing his teeth? She said in all her confusion, "No." Is he stabbing the other children with his brush? She said, "No." Then I said, "Then he is fine thank you."

2) Grandmapetitor came up to me and said, "You know the face painting is for the children right?" See pic below for amazing face paint job. Face painters offered, I accepted.

3) Mompetitor overhears me calling Thing 2 "Rhys the Beast". That is his nickname right now. He loves it. He is a delightful beast. I am sure we will not be calling him that in the future but for now it is a loving and endearing nick name for him. She came up to me and said, "You should NEVER call a child a BEAST!" Can I say fuck off? And walk a mile? I didn't, but I wanted to.

 4) Thing 2 goes back to the dreaded hard plastic castle and is manning the door like a bouncer. I watch and observe for a bit. He is being a bit of a nut but he is letting kids in and out. Finally, Thing 2 had enough and held the door shut. I head on over and a mom is verbally fighting with my 3 year old. She said, "Little boy, you have to open the door!" She was in a right fit. I calmly open the door with my brute momma strength and jokingly replied, "He is not that strong, is he?" If looks could kill.

5) My son gets apple juice once a week. If you read my blog you will know that Thing 2's favorite foods in the world are :apple jew and fry." Today was his big day for apple juice. Since this is a healthy kids fair and all I watched a mompetitor look at Thing 2 HARD when he was guzzling his AJ down and then turned to her mompetitor pal and made comment about his AJ drinking. "My child will never... blah blah blah.."

Call me sensitive but I am sick of this judgment crap. Please tend to your own circus. Now I know there is value in many things that people have to say and I should take it with a grain of salt, <insert wisdom here>. BUT there comes a point where I don't want any of it; not today, not this week, how 'bout no. I am a broken record, "Other people's opinions are none of my business." I know this shit. I usually live this shit. Some days I just feel beaten down.

I have a theory. You all can call me on my shit if you's like but I have a slight tangent that I need to get off my chest. Now I am a big girl. I am happy with me and my body. I am a fatvocate. I am a strong. I am both a "good" and "bad" fatty. I guess you can say I just am. I am good with me. But you know who is not ok with me? A shit load of fat-hating, fat-shaming, anti-fat, just don't understand and impose judgments on me kind of people. I have been both "regular size" and fat and I can only speak from my experience. When you are fat lots people treat you different. People are more inclined to judge you and say shit to you thinking they are being "helpful". The range of topics are everything to what you eat, the food moderation talk to how you parent your child. I am not saying smaller moms don't get there share of mompetition but what I am saying is the prejudice is rampant with bigger folks and we get treated differently. I know, I know, I have no empirical evidence but I wonder how many times I would have been talked at today if I was a smaller mom? Fat shaming is one of the last acceptable forms of discrimination. I have been both sides of the fence and it ain't pretty. This is why I am a fatvocate. I am not lesser of a mom because of my size.

I am being sensitive, and thank Gord for that. 

HUGS & Shit

The Momma

                                                 I am so pretty.

SO when did it become ok? #picswithpermission

It has been brought to my attention that Michael Bublé, with the help of his wife, posted a picture on Instagram of himself with a woman in the background.

Check it out here: http://www.cbc.ca/news/arts/michael-bubl%C3%A9-sparks-social-media-firestorm-with-body-shaming-instagram-photo-1.3033757

When did it become OK to take a picture of someone in public without their permission? I remember back in the day you asked people if you could take their picture. Since the invention of cell phone cameras everyone is a journalist, photographer, and unsympathetic social documentarian. But should we be? When a professional photographer takes a photo of someone to use it for stock photography, a photo release paper must be signed. Now I am not saying to walk around with scads of release forms ready for signatures but what happened to the responsibility of having such a powerful yet destructive tool in our hands? Where is the social etiquette around taking someone's picture with their permission? Can we start such a movement? 

I abhor the People of Walmart photos. I cringe when I see such photos taken and no care or consideration has gone into other people’s thoughts or feelings; then to finish it off with crude hashtags and comments. We as a society are to lackadaisical in the way feel entitled to take snaps of whatever we want and wherever we want without repercussions.  We have been desensitized to saying its OK, it is just a picture. We are smarter than that; it is not just a picture. We have learned that the old cliché “sticks and stones may break my bones and names will never hurt me” is a complete fallacy.

So where do we go from here? If you are in agreement with what I am posting please share. Let’s start a movement. A #picswithpermission movement. Share it, hashtag it, and help boost awareness on internet privacy.

Happy 100th Post!

Wow it is a big day in blogger land... 100 posts of nonsensical rubbish.

So I asked Thing 2 what does a frog say and he said, "pancake service"
Then I asked Thing 2 what does a fish say and he said, "rubyroo"
Then I asked Thing 2 what does a horse say and he said, "neigh!"
I pushed my luck and asked Thing 2 what does a duck say and he said, "baby Jesus!"

I think it is time for me to stop calling him the sweet baby Jesus as a term of endearment.

Hugs & Shit

The Momma

Thing 2 in the zoo!

Another edition of Thing 2 in the zoo!

Thing 2 eats a hot french fry, yells and frantically swipes squished hot fry off his tongue and onto the wall at A&W.

Thing 2 climbs up my body while I am sitting on the couch and then proceeds to slide down me while yelling "weeeee!"

Thing 2 did not want me to open his water bottle. I close it. He cried. He wants me to open his water bottle. I open it. He cries. I didn't do it right.

Thing 2 rides down the slide on top of children like a burlap sack.

Found a rubber chicken at the store. Thing 2 screams in terror. Found Thing 2's kryptonite.

Thing 2 farts an adult fart. Shocks himself and proceeds to roll around laughing with no sound coming out of his mouth.

Thing 2 violently hugs the cat and places her in his pajama drawer.

Thing 2 weapon of choice: kicking heels of furry

Thing 2 plays on the spinner ride at the playground. Jumps off without warning and is unable to walk in a straight line for a whole minute and promptly walks into the only tree in the vicinity. Laughs it off like a boss.

When Thing 2 does not like something he will warn you with a fake sneeze.
 

Hugs & Shit

The Momma

                                            The Daily Gong Show

To-Do List volume 3

I like to plan my life but I always try to give up the end result. Whatever happens is ultimately for the universe to decide. I just do the leg work and keep on truckin' and enjoy the ride as best I can.

So speaking of plans...

Here is another edition of: "The Momma's To-Do List!"

Pick up cat food
Pick up 2 birthday gifts and wrap for Saturday
organize babysitting for Saturday and wednesday
government paperwork for ipad
register Thing 1 for zumba class
book summer holidays
find babysitting for May wedding
Taxes
cut Thing 1 & 2's nails
10 lesson plans
prep for biz trade show
month end for March
find missing library book
Call sister
writing phonics programs for proposal
prep for sex toy party at my house on Saturday night
volunteer at Terry Fox run on Friday at school
put away laundry
repair jewelry box Thing 1 & 2 destroyed
darn some socks
sort through tutoring material hand me downs
sign up Thing 2 for class
Filing
put grommets on new signs
develop a games for students
clean en suite bathroom
Thing 1 & 2 eye appointments
clean deck and prep it for use again
clean out purse
fix the curtain rod in Thing 1's room
car appointment for a tune up
back up the hard drive
figure out how to convert MPGS
deal with a warranty issue
fill prescriptions
On the hunt for bob book sets 1, 4, 5, 6 at thrift shops


I am pretty sure I am missing some things... oh well.

Again, I sound like a broken record, I say these things not out of self-importance but out of reflection. I have a big to-do list always but I will always find time to play and the end result is not up to me.

HUGS & Shit

The Momma

Pre kids vs post kids

Things I miss pre-kids

My eye glasses without finger prints
Drinking hot tea and reading a book all at once, at the same time, simultaneously, together
Not living in the constant fear that Thing 2 will find a pen and write all over my shit
Owning a decent pair of sunglasses
Not having a food pouch explode in my purse
Rum and Cokes on a Friday night
Watching a movie in full and not fast forwarding the "possibly unneeded bits"
sitting for long periods watching sitcoms
knowing when a sitcom was on
Leisurely shaving my legs... showering... or just even taking a shit
Sleeping in
Sleeping
Saturday afternoon naps
Sleeping
not using butt wipes for tissues
Not feeling guilty as you recycle the 100,000th piece of art brought home from school
Not removing huge boogers from your child's face without a tissue or said butt wipe
Date night
Anything on a whim
Not having to get two of everything. If you give one kid something the other one always knows.
Owning underwear without holes
Daily showers
No middle of the night sneak in momma's bed for a good kick and space hogging
Go to the library without hitting up the kids section or getting complaints from the peanut gallery how my section is "boring"
Not having my shampoo poured down the drain
Not living in constant fear of dieing of train track tripping concussion catastrophe
Not having to make 4 separate meals... meat-less, egg-less, nut-less, not too fruity, yet not too vegetabley, gourmet, healthy something that does not offend the masses.
Not taking up odd hobbies like finding every single bit of clothing in the house that needs to be hemmed, sewn, and or patched and dedicate an entire evening to mending shit

Shit I love about having kids

Whenever I fart, I get a laugh
100,000 art pieces to survey and select for ultimate safekeeping
Cold tea and sneaking couch naps when kids watch Thomas
My vast knowledge of Children's literature
The cuddles, hiccups, farts, and sneezes
The laughs to the point where no sound comes out and your tummy hurts
Middle of the night sneak into bed with momma cuddles
Finding Thomas trains everywhere, and I mean everywhere, to the point of hilarity
Going out for a nice night with some girlfriends and when I open my purse I find everything I could ever need.
The "momma! Look at what I can do!"
Watching cartoons again
Impromptu rum and coke party on a Thursdays night with another momma friend
Meeting other cool moms on the playgrounds and schools
Watching the boys play trains together


I love my kids, they are little bundles of hilarious assholey awesomeness!

HUGS & Shit

The Momma

                                              I don't know what is happening, ever.