142 Easy Steps to Simplify Your Life

                        Made you look.

                                        Happy Family Day Long Weekend!

Bird is the word

So on Thursday I was walking the kids home from school when I looked up and saw hundreds of crows flying around. It was quite an amazing sight. It got me thinking about the old wives tale and how it is lucky to be pooped on by a bird. Who drummed up that old gem? Then it happened, I was shat on by a bird that was situated up the tree I happened to be walking under. I said out loud, "Universe, that was not a request!" and the universe responded with, "Nope that was a statement." Then I thought to myself,  "Damn universe... you're good."

If you believe you are lucky, you will be lucky. The universe has it weedily little ways and so do the birds.

HUGS & Bird Shit

The Momma

Threenager in the house!

So Thing 2 has become a threenager. Erh Merh Gerd.

The water bottle fell. Scream and point at water bottle.
The carrot is orange. Cry.
The milk is in the wrong cup. Get verbally abused in the ear.
Not enough ketchup on his plate. Pushes plate away.
Too much ketchup on this plate. Falls to ground in agony.
Wanted the "farnter ploont". Hits me when I ask what a "farnter ploot" is.
Demands ice cream. We do not have ice cream. Runs into couch and face-plants cushion.
Tell Thing 2 to pee-pee on the potty. Stands naked and pees on the cat and laughs like an evil villian
He asks for a crayon. I ask what for. He responds for painting walls. I say no. Thing 2 puts me in time-out.
Tell Thing 2 he is my sweet baby. Thing two responds with hands on hip and stink eye, "I'm a todd-wer!"
And Lastly, Thing 2 asks for apple jew and fry (apple juice and fries). I say no. Thing 2 runs with the reckless emotion.

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/melissaoneil/alive.html
I have always wondered what that would look like, running with a reckless emotion. Now I have seen it. It cannot be unseen and it is bloody fantastic.

HUGS & Shit

The Momma

Super Short Blog Entry

I exercise because I love my body, not because I hate it.

Hugs & Shit

The Momma

Cats!

The hubs and I lately have been two ships passing in the night. With his work and audit time and me and my 12 students and full-time mom gig, life has been passing us by as a couple. I noticed that the hubs, who is an incredible cat lover, was paying more attention to Lucy Catt than me. So last night I curled up beside him, batted his face and swiped at his hands. It worked! I realized I must act like a cat to get his attention. So from now on I will be standoffish, sit on his papers while he tries to work, scratch his hands, knock over plants, sit in boxes and hunt for birds.

Hugs & Shit

The Momma Catt

                                              Cats in Jars

Jar Jar

Things that go in jars...

**A special shout out to my pals Darcee & Steph who inspired this topic amidst an all out craft-off. Please comment to add things to the list. **

honey
nuts and bolts
screws
huckleberries
loose change
alcohol
pickles
glitter
magic
science experiements
samples of bodily fluids
relish
nut butters
lentels
dry soup mixes
collections
snails
a slug, a stick, and a leaf to recreate what they are used to
bait
baby teeth
buttons
raisins
pennies for ramoli
guitar picks
precious dirty outside things your children give you
rocks
Siamese fighting fish
candles
old pens and pencils
paperclips
beads
secret chocolate stashes
used oil from the deep fryer
spaghetti sauce
Allen keys
leftover bits from post IKEA assembly
jellybeans for estimating and eating
random keys that once had a purpose but are forgotten, lost, and lonely still holding out to be reunited with its previous life mate
remnants from previous stored items
chili
pickled eggs, cabbage, and beets
marinades
sand art
wishes
mini marshmallows
cinnamon sticks
peaches
ashes
Epsom salts
heirloom popcorn seeds layered in different colours with a raffia burlap bow sold only at farmer's markets
guac
salsa
dandelions your kids picked for you
ideas
pretzels
egg wash
twine
soap
an ecosystem
gumballs
soaking seeds and legumes
shaking up some butter or whipped cream depending how long you shake for
jam
mothballs
dried flowers
potpourri
homemade triple sec
cat or dog treats
swear money
savings
growing things
old Halloween candy
cats
smoothies from Pinterest
shells
soaking the corks
sand


I am tired.

HUGS & Shit

The Momma

                                                     I didn't say my blog was good.

 

Uncouth? N'est-ce pas?

SO I have a weird little thing I like to do, I like to read comments on message boards on controversial topics and sometimes some not so controversial topics. I find it strangely fascinating. I sometimes comment and it is usually on the topic of fat-shaming, body nonacceptance or something along those lines. I responded to a fella tonight and this is what I got:

Re: Naked jogger spotted on Coquitlam trail

Random Dude: "Some people do nekkid polar-bear swims... some people are less public about it and prefer to just run nekkid in the freezing cold forest. I think those who noticed this man should just be thankful he was young, slim and wearing earbuds. He coulda been 150 pounds overweight and carrying a 20 pound, 30 watt boom-box. :-)"

Me: "Why with the weight comments? Unnecessary."

Random Dude: Courtney Catt-Cam Unnecessary? Yes. You're quite right,
I'm not wrong though... although I certainly could have chosen a more "sensitive" metaphor.
I suppose I could apologize... might even be polite to do so insincerely... but I won't: I'm often effed-over for what people see in my own disability. If I've got skin thick enough to be a happy fellow anyhow, so should everyone else, no? Lighten up. (no, that's not a weight reference) I don't get bent over jokes about "cripples"... in fact, I sorta think people oughta get hip to people like
http://www.callahanonline.com/index.php."

Me: "Bizarre response. I just like to call people on their shitty behavior that is all."

(He changed his above response a million times...)

Me: I will not stop calling people on their shit. It is not cool to shame people of different cultures, religions, sexual orientation, sexual identity, disabilities, diseases etc so why is it ok to shame people who are overweight? If we change our language, call people out, and care about those around us; the people who fat shame will one day be seen just as uncouth as the ignorant gay shaming person. Oh and for the record, fat shaming someone does not help their plight, in fact, it does the opposite. 

Random Dude: "Please feel free to "call me on my shit". I'm no one special and you've every right there is to tell me you disagree with me. Still, I wasn't "shaming" anyone: I simply took a common metaphor everyone understands and applied it where people would get the point. You're perfectly right that people will often see that as pejorative... but what would *you* have me say instead to prevent others' assumptions and biases getting in the way of clarity?"

 

Me: "Your words" I think those who noticed this man should just be thankful he was young, slim and wearing earbuds. He coulda been 150 pounds overweight..." Your comments blatantly express that overweight is undesirable therefore shedding negative light on overweight therefore fat-shaming language. You know what I love? I got to you, this is good. I like to make people think. It will make you think twice next time on your crappy metaphors because someone else might call you on it, maybe even publicly. ;) I love it when people who are in the wrong jump to the "lighten up" argument. Classic.

I am done, thanks for the weird debate. Cheers!"

Well I let him get the last response, he seems like that sort of person...

Random Dude:": "blatantly express that overweight is undesirable therefore shedding negative light on overweight" I offer no defense. You're right. I just hope you never have to be heckled in a comedy club... or worse, have to suffer the abuse of a good comedian if you heckle them like this. Your stridency hurts your cause, love. Lighten up. :-)"

LOL his last comments was a big fat "There, there dear".

Well you can't change things by being soft I am afraid. Shit gets done when truths are said. -Said by anyone who moved and shook the world ever.

Well that was fun.

HUGS & Shit

The Momma