The 50's Called They Want Their "Article" Back

For a laugh to to fully understand my blog please see the link below:

http://millenniallifestyle.com/10-things-men-find-unattractive/?utm_source=trending#comment-on-article

It is shit articles like these that make me think I have fallen into a time travel machine and woke up in the 1950s. "10 Things Men Find Unattractive" article (if you can call it an article) is a horribly crafted, sexist, demeaning, unimaginative, dated, judgmental, creepy, submissive, and all around shit message to be spreading the masses. Who are we molding ourselves for again?

I have clarified the writer's message:

1. Makeup

Keep it natural but definitely wear make up. Wear enough that you look amazing but tone it down so he won't kiss a clown. No glittery stuff but stand out. Look sexy but not slutty. Seduction is your only attribute to marry and have a family, don't scare him away. And God forbid never use clumpy mascara!

What it should say: Wear makeup if you like it. 


2. Hair

Keep your hair washed but not too washed. Make it look like you want him but not. Too much goop in your hair will make things sticky. If you have sticky unmanageable hair he will be scared of you.

What it should say: Wear your hair how you like it.

3. Shave

Keep that bush trimmed you wild woman. Men associate hair with being a man and they don't want that.  Keep your skin smooth and smelling like vanilla all the time. If you smell like vanilla the men will think you bake and men like that. If the men notice you like to preen yourself like a little kitty cat they will want to marry you. Lastly, spend thousands of dollars on special skin-smoothing creams fake doctors in France made from rare fromage melons.

What it should say: Shave if you want to.

4. Mouth

Face it ladies men don't like to look at fuzzy yellow sweaters on your teeth. Good dental hygiene and um... just fork out the cash for veneers or he won't marry you. And always carry cancer inducing gum because bad breath is worse.

What it should say: Good Dental hygiene aids you in your overall health and is a general all around good idea for tooth longevity.  

5. Perfume

Only use one spray, it will leaving him wondering what else you have to offer; like if you have an oversized vagina and have filed all your tax returns. 

What it should say: Wear perfume if you like it, but keep in mind that men and women alike can have severe allergies to perfume so wearing it sparingly is to the benefit of all who surround you. 

6. Alcohol

No one wants to see the woman drunk, how else with the man get home safely from the party? Being a designated driver will land you the role of a life time: The Wife.

What it should say: Don't drink and Drive.

7. Negativity

No one wants to see a woman stand up for herself or complain when it is warranted. You have to keep any sort of needs or wants at bay as men do not like to see that. Show him your upbeat personality with Prozac tucked discretely in your purse.

What it should say: Everyone has their bad days. If you are sad ask for help. 

8. Swearing

Men don't like it when women swear especially after he ditches her at the debutante ball. This is a surefire way to land yourself a one-way ticket to Singleville.

What it should say: Swear if you want to. 

9. Nagging

Don't nag, he has every right to leave the toilet seat up especially since he paid for it. This also applies to having complete control of the tv changer, letting him leaving all those little shaving hairs around the bathroom, and picking up his socks for him. Afterall, there are things that you do that drive him crazy too!

What it should say: If something annoys you, say it. Resentments lead to depression, poor health, and lowered self-esteem.

10. Needy

Don't be needy but don't be too independent but don't be needy. You need to find that line and ride it all the way to Marriageville.

What it should say: If you feel like you have a need that needs to be filled, express it. 


Thank Gord I married a man who loves me for me, my farts, my trucker mouth, my hairs, and my ability to spot bullshit a mile away.

Hugs & Shit

The Momma

                                                     Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Keep it natural. Men don’t want to go in for a kiss and come out looking like they just joined the circus. Remember, foundation is supposed to be invisible to others and blend in with your skin. Stay away from glittery or shimmering eye makeup and NEVER use clumpy mascara. Minimal makeup is sexier. - See more at: http://millenniallifestyle.com/10-things-men-find-unattractive/?utm_source=trending#comment-on-article

Keep it natural. Men don’t want to go in for a kiss and come out looking like they just joined the circus. Remember, foundation is supposed to be invisible to others and blend in with your skin. Stay away from glittery or shimmering eye makeup and NEVER use clumpy mascara. Minimal makeup is sexier. - See more at: http://millenniallifestyle.com/10-things-men-find-unattractive/?utm_source=trending#comment-on-article

Raw, Real, Food Addiction

I hold this story close to my heart…

A reporter once interviewed a man who was at the beginning of his weight-loss journey. The man was about to have gastric by-pass surgery. He was confined to a bed as he weighed over 750 pounds. The reporter asked how he got so big and the man could not give him a definitive answer. The reporter asked the man if he could come back in 5 years to interview him again to see how his weight loss journey was coming along. The man agreed. The reporter came back 5 years later just like he promised and was astonished to see the big man lose a tremendous amount of weight. He asked, the now 250 pound man, how he did it. The man responded with a good diet and exercise. The reporter congratulated the man and asked him if he could come back 5 years later to do a story on his progress. The man agreed. Five years later the reporter went back to the man and was flabbergasted to see that he had gained back all the weight and then some. The man now weighed in at 900 pounds. He asked the man how this happened. The man responded with, “I fixed the outside problem but failed to fix the inside one.”  The man passed away 3 months later.

Working out, food plans, lifestyle changes, moderation, diets, shakes, cleanses, fads; whatever you want to call it. If you are an over-eater or have an unusual relationship with food the inside issue is equally as important as the outside one. Learn to love yourself, try it. I dare you.

Hugs & Shit

The Momma

                                  I am a mom, I am awesome, and so are you.

Challenge issued: Name 3 things that you like about yourself and don't cheat by asking someone else. Write down those three things and give it a couple of sentences on why you like those things about yourself.

The Beefcake Show

Yesterday I went to a bodybuilding competition. I never thought in a million years I would ever go to one but my beautiful and amazing sister in law was competing and I was there with bells on to support her. It is not that I despise bodybuilding competitions or think anything of them in particular it was just I never had interest or knew anyone who was into it. Amazingly,  I had no apprehension to going. I was there to watch and see my beautiful sister in law check something off her bucket list and support her in her amazing transformation. (She kicked ass by the way.) She was radiant and so confident on stage. I admired her courage and drive to get what she wanted. It was a beautifully inspirational thing to see.

To me this is another indicator to show me how far I have come. The old me would have been horrified to be amongst the beefiest and fittest people in the lower mainland. I am not going to lie I had 10 seconds of feeling pretty shitty about myself and then as a sat on the steps waiting for the theatre doors to open;  I simply got over it. Yes, just like that. In those ten seconds I told myself this is how I ruin my own good time and I don't want to do that anymore. I also thought about how other people's opinions of me are none of my business. GOLD. Shitty thoughts gone. For the rest of the night it was completely a non-issue. I walked around like there was nothing different about me and not feeling out of place. I was completely comfortable in my own skin.

Shit, I have come a long way. It was a beautiful reminder to me from the universe to not judge, compare, or even allow negative thoughts to consume me. We all have our own stories and albatrosses to bear.

I gained so much insight and inspiration from my sister Robyn. She inspires me everyday and she is one of my personal heroes. Thank you Robyn for including me in your journey, it is such a gift.

                                               The sweetest beefcake Robyn you will ever meet!

Depression and Recovery... my never-ending journey

I wish depression was the purple arm disease instead, I think it would garner more understanding  if depression had a visual reminder. I have suffered from some level of depression for most of my life and not realized it until I turned 25. I had an on-going low-grade depression that would sometimes dip into an even bigger black hole. I would eventually dig myself out to a place where it seemed "normal" again but I was never quite as happy as I had observed in others. I thought it was just my lot in life. I would never roll out of bed excited for the day unless it was a holiday or some major trip. But even as those days happened it was always a major let down as I had such high expectations and I always sought out happiness from external sources. I would watch my gray life pass me by as I would eagerly look forward to events with never-ending disappointing results. Since I did not know any different, I really did think this was real life, this is just how it is. I also did not think enough of myself to do anything about it or that I could do anything about it. It is really a vicious cycle. On the outside I was the jolly, funny, fat girl but inside I was so, so sad.

So what changed when I was 25? Well, I broke off a 7 and a half year relationship, I moved out with two super fun roommates, I had lost a significant amount of weight (In a completely horrible way), and I was finding myself. I was still depressed but saw the world in a new and elevated light. It was like I was temporarily lifted from my fog and saw life's potential. It was such a gift. I was quickly brought back down by hormones, food addiction, and wanting familiarity but I saw how life cold be different. So I actively sought it out.

One day at a coffee shop I came across the Tri-Cities Holistic guide and skimmed through it and saw an eating disorders counselor listed. I thought nah, I don't have that do I? I pondered on it for a bit and thought I do some pretty fucked up things with food. In the same month was at the library and saw an Alcoholics Anonymous big book and thought why the hell don't they have something like this for food addicted people like me? Little did I know Overeaters Anonymous was just on the horizon. This was the universe's way of guiding me for I had saw a glimpse and for that I am forever grateful. I attended a "Free the Heart" workshop which absolutely blew my mind. I felt and gave unconditional love to complete strangers. I listened to their stories and they listened to mine with complete love and with no judgement. I was given the gift of foresight to what my world could be like. I was hungry and I wanted it like nothing else I have ever wanted. I sought out people who had this magic about them and I emulated them. I wanted what they had so I called up the phone number in the holistic guide.

Shelley Jensen was the lady behind the phone number. Our first phone conversation was one whole hour and I was instantly connected with her. She had what I wanted and she knew how to get it without weight watchers or Jenny Craig. I had to see her! Shelley and I saw each other for the next 6 years and she taught me things about spirituality, fixing the inside problem, nutrition, unconditional love, and coping skills. Shelley had the same story I did. She was the beacon at the end of the tunnel. Thus began the hard work towards my happiness.

I had my first son, Thing 1, and I suffered from postpartum depression. I knew it was coming. I was a prime candidate. I tried antidepressants at that time but they made me feel even crazier. I took myself off and was scared at having to rely on it. I called the Pacific Postpartum Society and they were a life saver. I had weekly calls with a counselor and they made me feel like I was not insane. My doctor referred me to a program called "Bounce Back" through the Mental Health Association. I received cognitive behavior therapy via workbooks and more phone counseling sessions. It was amazing! It really helped me deal with anxiety and how to cope in everyday life. I still have the workbooks and still reference them to this day. In that same year I discovered Overeaters Anonymous. This was another life preserver on my journey. I still go to meetings and work on the 12 steps. It was the spiritual breakthrough I was needing and looking for. At OA I met some of the most courageous people in my life. People who found recovery from eating disorders. This was astonishing.

I had Thing 2 and my depression took a turn for the worse. This time I decided I needed medical intervention. I started to take Zoloft, an antidepressant; it was the kick start I needed to continue on my happiness journey.

Through all my hard work and allowing the universe to guide me I discovered I will always have to work at this, depression is a fickle fiend. BUT I am in the happiest place I have ever been. I am happier now then when I was at my smallest. I thought it was not supposed to happen that way. I thought if I lose the weight I would be happy. I had it all backward. If I cannot accept my body at any size then I will never accept it. I have sought out exercise not for weight loss but to feel healthy, get better sleep, and to help fight depression. It took me years to seek out physical activity again. If I was in the old head space, this gym thing would have faded out of my life pretty quick. I now have happiness and self-love behind me, the most amazing driving force. Happiness and joy has been my motivation and my new fuel for life.

Where am I now? I still see Shelley from time to time. I do online OA meetings, I still work the 12 steps to the best of my ability, I am at service to others, I went publicly naked at a Korean Spa, I reference the Bounce Back program workbooks, I watch less TV as I know it contributes to my depression, I take long walks, I seek out people who get me, I don't gossip, I don't eat perfectly, I seek out feeling good. I take care of myself now. My road to recovery has been gloriously imperfect. I have learned that the universe has got my back, it is ok to cry because there are wisdom in those tears, It is ok to feel and that I am not going to fall apart and if I do someone is there to help, I now live in the moment the best I can, I surrender my anxiety to the universe and it gladly accepts it, I create, I write, I love, and I try to do all of this so imperfectly.I have been on on this seeking happiness journey for almost 12 years now... I am not done, I have some much more to be happy and grateful for.

The benefits? I am a better mom, wife, person. I care and love more than I thought possible. I am no guru, I am not super special, I am a woman who decided enough was enough, I deserve happiness god dammit! and so do you.

Hugs & Shit

The Momma

                                               Kitty Cat LOVE - Cats have the best self esteem

Naked at the Jimjilbang!

I recently watched a hilarious video of Conan O'Brien (Late night talk show host) and Steven Yeun (Actor - Walking Dead) having a lovely time at a Jimjilbang in L.A. If you have not seen it, click on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k70xBg8en-4

I shared this video on my Facebook wall and noted I would love to try it sometime. Someone called my bluff. Well, it wasn't entirely a bluff, but I never thought someone I knew would be a frequent jimjilbang user. For those who have not watched the video yet; a jimjilbang is a Korean spa where you are naked. It is like a public bathouse and a community hub. So little did I know I have a few friends that have done it before and that there is a jimjilbang in my neighbouring city; a ten minute drive from my house. Shut the front door! I had to go. My pal Blennifer and I went on Saturday night and I have to say I am hooked.

Now for anyone who reads my posts knows I am a big gal and I love my body but this was going to be a good test; to be naked in front of friends and strangers. I was committed and a little freaked out I must admit. Thank goodness I had Blennifer to show me the ways of the jimjilbang!

We get to JJ's Family Spa and pay our entrance, only $15/person! They gave us shorts, shirt, towels, and a key for a locker. They had tea, drinks, showering paraphernalia, mud masks, towels, freezer slushy things, food to order etc. You could get your nails done or have additional spa treatments. The floors were heated too! We got to our lockers and changed into the JJ spa's issued clothing and headed to the heat saunas. First the Earth room, where I cooked like a sausage and sweated my life away. We then headed to the Charcoal room to cool off and reap the benefits of charcoal. We then headed to the hot Salt room and sweated a liter or two. We drank water, chatted and enjoyed the hot rooms and conversations. So awesome.

We then headed back to our lockers and got "buck" as Blennifer puts it. I was anxious. Seeing Jennifer just strip down with no qualms I pushed my self and said fuck it. Whatever, it is my awesome body, who cares. And wouldn't you know it, after being naked for all of 20 seconds I was over it. We headed to the showers, hot tub, steam room, dry sauna and cold tub. BLISS! We met up with a mutual friend Bleah and she gave us scrubber mits and a face mask. So kind. I showered, I shaved, I gave myself a super scrub. I saunaed, hot tubbed and spent time in a shower where no one was asking me for food or a book or ask me to break up a toddler
fight. It was funking amazing. I took in total 4 full body dips in the freezing cold water. It was so invigorating jumping in to the hot tub to cold tub. We spent... drumrollll............ clash bang! crash! 4 hours at the spa. Did I mention it was only $15?!

I am hooked. It was another sweet personal milestone to furthering my body acceptance.

If you want to go, lemme know and I will show you the ways of the jimjilbang!

HUGS and SCRUBS
The Momma

                                         They removed my skin and now I want to sleep forever.