"I'm Spiter-mee-yan."

So Spiderman has been living at my house for the past 11 days. He is starting to smell. Every morning Thing 2 picks out his "outfit" to wear and everyday as soon as everything has been put on I hear out of his adorable little face, "I'm Spiter-mee-yan." and will repeat said sentence until I say, "What? Tell me one more time who you are?" To which he replies, "I'm Spiter-mee-yan." I have come to learn that Spiter-mee-yan is afraid of certain things such as; the garage door, rubber chickens from the dollar store, preschool, unwanted food items on his plate, the water tornado as the bathtub drains. But do you know who is not afraid of these things? That's right, Thing 2. He harbors this belief that once the Spiter-mee-yan costume is on he then becomes afraid of things; once it is off he is solid. The mind of a 3 and a half year old is a precious labyrinth of confusing thought patterns and full of confusion and delay.

Hugs & Shit

The Momma

Adventures with Boobs

The weirdest shit I have ever found in my bra or stuck to my boobs...

Googly eye - just one, I looked down in my sports bra and unnervingly it was staring right back up at me.

Toothpaste - Late night out, want to do a quick brush before bed, toothbrush was oddly flavorless, didn't care in my altered state of awareness, woke up with minty fresh boobs. Whatevs.

Peanut - We don't have peanuts in our house, Thing 2 is allergic, WTF. What did I do that day?

Pine Needles - I am the fucking master at erecting the Christmas tree. Nuff said.

Sock - Laundry day, in a rush, somehow my right boob evened out in size to my left. Shit I'm magic, nope just a sock.

Bacon Bits - Sometimes I get excited about a salad. Don't judge.

Lego - You think stepping on lego hurts. Having a piece of Lego stab your boob is like having a unicorn stab you in the chest. It is rare but it can happen.

Mango - Not as sexy as you'd might think.

Snowball - Not as funny as you'd might think.

Bird Shit - Cleavage at a packed Aquarium Show. I don't care what you say, that is fucking lucky!

Ketchup - It is a great way to alarm those around you.

Hugs & Shit...

Than Momma

                                     Throw Back Saturday - Poetry Edition

Lucy-fur, Thing 2, and Shifts

I am feeling the effects of serious blog neglect. Looking back at my last couple of blog entries I went from fit inspo momma to drunkey is 2.5 seconds. You can judge me because other people's opinions of me are none of my business; unless your name is Jesus or Brian. So where am I now?

Today I woke up at 5:00 AM to an obscenely obnoxious alarm that rattled my soul and willingness to face the day. I kicked my own butt out of bed and managed to kick the cat 12 times trying to make my way out of the house and go to the gym. I think my cat is trying to kill me. But what else is new. I think when I get up in her mind she is thinking, "Listen fucker today is you last day. Feed me and let me take a piss outside and when I'm good and done stand by the mother fucking door and wait for me to decided whether now is the right time to come inside or not. If you leave in that four legged gray beast of a metal wagon without my permission I will climb on top and I am roof surfing all the way to the gym with you to try and kill you there. If I missed my opportunity I will kill you when I get home at 7:35 AM." Lucy-fur thinks a lot, plots a lot, but so far I have foiled every evil plan for assassination. Kitty needs new game, I am smarter that the walking-down-stairs-cut-me-off-leg-weave.

I return from the gym proficiently sweaty when I am greeted by Thing 2. I ask Thing 2, "Did you have a poop?" To which he replies, "Hulk Smash!" as he annihilates this waffle with the over-sized hulk action fig. I look to the hubs and say, "1-2-3 NOT IT!" to which he harrumphs and changes Thing 2's diaper.  Best part is he did it in his nicely pressed pants, shirt and tie. I feel a little bit evil but I'm ok with that.

I stand by what I did.
I own it.

Thing 2 bail count 4
Destroyed waffles 3
A shift in the diaper which I did not have to deal with 1
Self-amused momma 1

Hugs & Shit

The Momma

Drunknblog 4.0

Ok drunkney back. You know what I love all female parties, there are so many Pinterest win foods it makes me want to have a cigarette after consuming the consumables.

Rum and coke is nice to my brain. My favorite rum is screech from Newfoundland not Newfoundland but really Jamaica.

You know what. You know when your crazy is when your cheese slips off the cracker.

Tangents I visited my first hunter bathroom.. It was unervibg to pee amongst the animals. They were judging me.

Megan just said don't say that or your dead to me followed with a csckle laugh.

I love you and your 70 dogs.

The momma

Drunk blog 3.0 you're judgeibg already and that's OK because awesonepeople are going to be awesome. You know what? I'm at a sex toy party and blurping is the word of the night. Sex fact #14754 your g sport is does exist.  It is a funny little spot. It makes you happy inside. Everyone who is female has this including the queen. She's a randy lady. She has kisds prooiif! Fact! People are part sexy you don't even know. I'm wearing tank top right now with Kelly and were hot stuff. Deal! My friend who booopef me in the nose said I like to paint.
Yblast . I found nanananas.com
Batman!!

I love you

The momma.com.org.CA.net.au

Drunk Blogging 2.0

You don't know me.

don't juge me, or do, I don'y cate.

Read between the lines

I am a special lady.

Oh Jesus Murphy

MY live id a hot gorbae soup button

this makesn no sense

Your judging me and that is ok

the fdaster I type the more it makes sense

I love you

I have one functioning kidney.com

ladies are a nivce lady

I am your firned

You have nice morals

high horse


Love the momma
.com.org.com.ca.net.ca

I love you

A Journey Part 2 - Garbaldi Park

So my weekend is complete! I hiked 50 km in three days through, around, and up and down in Garibaldi Park on September 5-7th. For the past 10 months I have been a workout-gym-rat-self-motivated son-of-a-bitch. I had a goal in mind to climb a mountain and not kill myself; mission accomplished.

What/who inspired me to do this? One person, my sister in law... Robyn
Thank you Robbie for being the best sis in law a gal could ever ask for!

Robyn in the Spring competed in a body building competition and achieved her goal in losing weight and obtaining muscle mass. She said it was her dream to stand on a stage and wear a bikini and feel good about herself. With hours upon hours of hard work and determination Robyn made her goal and in my opinion blew it out of the water.

I started to go back to the gym in October of 2014, almost one year a go. I started doing laps at the pool. Once a week I would do a one kilometer swim. Over time I got faster and faster at it so I had to introduce new ways of bringing up my heart rate. My buddy Serena and I would walk around the river run upstream in the pool 40 times. Once that became too easy I told Robyn and Adam what I was doing and they got super excited. You see Robyn and Adam are gym people and the idea of me joining their gym-cult was an exciting idea. You see I have never been much of a gym person. I have always found joy in sports, where it doesn't feel like a workout. But I do remember that I liked lifting weights.

In early January, in a packed gym at Hyde Creek Robyn almost made me puke. It was good though. I forgot what it felt like to be pushed so hard and how great it felt after. I started going to the gym by myself 2 times a week. Robyn mentioned I should probably increase it if I want to see faster results. I noticed that the cost of the gym was too high and joined a new gym not to far away. This is where I stepped up my game. I started going in the mornings and nights 3 times/week. Robyn would check in with me ever so often and we would adjust my workout for variation and increasing difficulty and I just kept at it. Around the time of Robyn's muscle competition I decided I needed a goal in mind too. I got it! I love hiking! I do not have time for field hockey or fast pitch or slo-pitch now so hiking it is! I thought of all the hiking places I had done and which ones were on my to-do list pre-kids. I mapped it all out. I asked Robyn if she wanted to come and he happily obliged. We then amped up my cardio in June and I started going to the gym 5 days a week in mid-July. I was starting to feel fit again. I started needing less sleep. I started eating less naturally and being happier all the time. I was hooked.

I am unsure of how much weight I lost, I don't care about the number. What I do care about was being able to climb a mountain and not die doing it.

Saturday September 5th. (Day 1 - 9 kilometers, one blister, and I packed too much shit)

Robyn picked me up around 10:00 AM. I kissed Thing 1 and 2 goodbye and Thing 1 games me very explicit instructions to not go to the top of any mountains. The poor Thing was scared for me. I got a hug and kiss from the hubs as he said, "You've got this." Then we took off to Squamish for some lunch. The traffic was terrible and I was getting nervous as I know I could not take my time as we would lose too much sunlight. We got to the park and drove the 7 km to the tail entrance. I put on my 45lb pack and off we went for 3 days in the bush. It took us 3 and a half hours to walk one km of flat terrain and 8 kms for switchbacks and climbing the back end of a mountain. My 45 lb pack felt ridiculously heavy. We get to the alpine meadows of Helm Creek Campground. A large field with only 7 tent pads and over 35 tents. Poeple were camping where ever they could find dry ground. The muskeg was soft, lumpy, and damp which make for very interesting sleeping conditions. We set up camp and met some very nice neighbors, ate dinner and fell asleep by 8:30 pm.

Sunday September 6th (Day 2 - 32.65 kilometers, one blackened toenail, 10 hours, elevation gains - stupid)

Robyn and I were up by 6:30 AM and made breakfast and left for the day by 8:00 AM. We carried our days packs filled with water, cliff bars, and trail mix. I was so excited to eat nuts again. Since Thing 2 is allergic I went to town on the nuts. I was a chipmunk. We made out way up and up the sloped, rocky alpine fields full of trickling streams and beautiful alpine scenery. We passed several beautiful alpine lakes and rivers. Then we hit the top of the plateau area and it was all lava rock. At the base of the Black tusk it was nothing but kilometers of  lava rock and flat terrain. The flatness was welcoming as we had hit nothing but elevation before this. It looked like a moonscape. It was really strange and seemed so out of place but a welcomed new sight. Past the moonscape and several sketchy slopes we hit more elevation to the base of panorama ridge. I took a look up, it was not how I remember it when I climbed it in 2003; there was way less snow. Robyn, always 20 paces ahead keeping a good pace, just hoofed it like a mountain goat. I however was slower and more methodical. I would set tiny goals for myself like keep going until the next marker or just 30 more steps and then you can take a break. Next thing I knew I was at the top. The view was exactly how I remembered it. As I sat at the top we watched the cloud cover roll in and out and just stated at the azure blue colour of the lake below. It was one of the most beautiful sights of my life. I sat with Robyn and discussed how I killed my goal. She then asked, "Court, how are you feeling?" I responded, "Great!" She then said, "Good! Lets hike to Garibaldi lake below." I thought about this. That would add 5 hours to out trip. But Robyn made a very valid point. Out camp was a very cold place and sitting around at 2 in the afternoon would be cold and boring. So down we went to the start of the Panorama ridge turn off and headed south to the lake. I tried to look at the topo map to see the elevation we would be losing so I could gauge how much elevation we had to make back. I thought it was 300 feet. It was not 300 feet it was more like 800. We headed towards the lake, down, down, down we went. Through alpine fields and along goat ridges. We saw bears, mountain goats, chipmunks, and marmots. It was amazing. We hit the top of the switchbacks at the lake and down we went cursing the entire way thinking whatever we do going down I have to go back up. We got to the lake and found 2 stumps and rested out weary butts for more food and water. Robyn pointed to the top of a nearby mountain and said we came from that peak way up there. It was at that point I, like Robyn, not only achieved my goal but blew it out of the water. We then started to head back. We stopped a bunch of times for water and food. By the time we had regained our elevation I was giddy. Literally all the walking  going forward was going to be down hill here on out. Through the rambling meadows, along the steep goat trails, through the moonscape and down , down, down through the open terrain back to camp. With one kilometer left I was so happy and tired I jogged back.We ate dinner and promptly went to bed. I killed it.

Monday September 7th - Labour Day (Day 3 - 9 kilometers, all downhill from here, forgot about the knees)

Robyn and I woke at 5:30 AM the sun was just coming up. We quickly ate, packed up, and headed out. It was all downhill from here. I forget how much a 40 lb pack can do to a person's back and how going down kills the knees. It took us 3 hours to stumble down the side of the mountain. Along the way we sang songs, rapped, and even tried to set off a bear banger but it was a dud. We then headed to the car took some celebratory pics and drove to a pub for a burger and fries, well I did.

What did i learn from all of this... you cannot tell a person's fitness level by there size. The last time I did this hike was in 2003. I was significantly smaller but not as in good of shape. I did way less kilos in 2003 and I left that hike half dead. This hike I was fit and able like any other hiker out there. It was nice to call myself an athlete again. I have come to the conclusion I am doing more hiking but at least one major weekend hike/year. It gives me goals and something to work towards. I feel like I am back. So I still go to the gym 5 days a week. I still love it as crazy as that sounds. I wake up so early now I don;t even know myself any more. I used to be a night owl but that is all changing. Waking up at 5 AM  5 days a week will do that.

I'm rejuvenated. I'm healing. I am alive.

If you want to train with me and join me on next year's hiking excursion, let me know!

Hugs & Shit

The Momma 

 

I'm a mommy mummy 

                                                                      October 2014

                                                                   September 2015