In other news...

New headlines from the Catt-Cam House de.de.de.de..dee.dee.de.dee
This just in...

Thing 2 went running top-speed down the cement path today when he folded like a lawn chair and his head hit the cement causing a golf ball-sized goose egg on his forehead. No concussion but the complete aftermath is yet to be foreseen.

Thing 2 turned 5 on June 25th. However, since Thing 1 insists he turned 6,  next year is going to be rough year. 

Today was take the bus Friday. It was another epic day on the bus front. Then Things and momma took the C36 moving in from the East taking us at approximately 60 kilometers an hour to the West prompting Thing 1 to loudly yell, "We are going too fast!" Following the C36 gust we climbed aboard the 160 which moved us swiftly to the West without further incidence.

Today, at the Brown mall, the main elevator in the central court was closed down causing major stroller, senior and wheelchair congestion in the Sears. Some say the elevator breakdown was on purpose, driving in many customers to the Sears for their semi-annual sale. All conspiracies were debunked when the elevator repair people showed to get to the root of the problem..

In the latest news Thing 2 insists that an empty dvd case is a new an innovative way to store food items. The momma stopped the food trappings which lead to a wow butter and jam sandwich massacre. The momma then spent 20 minutes cleaning up the aftermath to which Thing 2 thought it would be a great opportunity to lick up the remaining food off the floor.

Lastly, in other news, the husband decided to fart on the children causing rage and chaos in the Catt-Cam household. Not only were the children crying but the momma yelled out creative nonsensical expletives in order to deal with her bubbling rage. The husband said, and I quote, "What happened to fartblanche?" to which the momma replied, "You can fart but not when it smells like yak-bacon with a side of hot garbage soup!" This situation has deescalated and peace talks are in the works.

This has been the nightly Catt Cam news, stay fresh smelling Canada

Bear poop and other things that really matter.

Today was a good day.

Woke up at 7:30 AM ugh. Thing 2 had successfully tore down his black out curtains. kudos kid. well done you. SO buff. Thing 1 snuggled up beside me with his feet in my back. classic. Why is it when kids come into the parent bed they sleep perpendicular? 50 points for knowing perpendicular. Go downstairs, breaky of frozen waffles and yogurt. According to the Things the toaster takes too long. I noticed the watermelon I gutted the night before was left on the counter infested with fruit flies. So naturally, In the name of science, I will leave it there until such time when high security clearance scientific experiments can be performed. Or I get unlazy and put it in the garbage. (JUST NOT IN THE SINK - my husbands voice yelling in my brain) We get dressed and out we go. It is Gates park day! This park scares the shit out of me. Thing 2 is a daredevil and does not know the meaning of safety or heights. Thank goodness they lose interest quickly. We head to the field and kick around the ball. Thing 1 wants Thing 2's ball but Thing 1 will not let Thing 2 have his ball. Thing 2 becomes enraged and tackles Thing 1. Things roll around. Thing 2 sits on Thing 1's back, grabbing him by the hair, and rides him like a horse. Thing 1 laughs. This angers Thing 2. I sit and watch the drama unfold. Just when it was going to be come a slap fight I interrupt with a "Boys! It is time for chocolate milk!" All is resolved as they made a beeline to the fish n chipy place. Shared chocolate milk with no issues funkin miracle. Then we head to the paved trail. I cannot believe how much bear scat is on the side of the trail. I brought sidewalk chalk and circled every single bear dump. It seemed funny at the time, then I felt nervous. As we walked we stopped every 100 meters and wrote some inspirational stuff like: "You are heard, You are seen, You are loved!", I drew a big circle and wrote, "If you are traveling with a loved one stand in this circle and hug, yes I mean you!", I wrote not far from that, "Get it off your chest!" with an arrow pointing at some chalk I left behind. Anyway, you get the point. It was fun! It was super neat to see what people wrote in response! Even my tic-tac-toe game got completed. So what is the point to all of this? HAVE FUN! Life is supposed to be fun. Hand over you stress to the universe, its got your back. As for the Things they liked to lick the chalk off of their fingers. weirdos.

Thing 2 bail count - at least 8
Thing 1 bananer count - none (more rotting bananas to make muffins with)
No fig bars to count - YES.
Pieces of chalk used - 7
Moral of the story - lick the chalk off your hands it is cheaper than using wipes

Hugs & Shit

The Momma

A Serious Blog? seriously?

SO here I am. There you are. Here is what concerns me today...

- The Brazilian Riots re: world cup
-The perpetuation of rape culture
-The gap between the rich and the poor getting wider beyond expectation
-Vladimir Putin
-Kim Jong-un
-World Economic Collapse already starting
-The denial of global warming
-Melting icecaps the rising of sea level, changes in weather patterns, flooding, super storms
-Disappearance of species, animals dying off in record numbers
-Coral reefs dying
-Animal migratory changes
-Bee colony collapse
-Fukushima still pumping out nuclear fall out
-Plastic by-products in our food chain
-Monsanto and GMOs (franken foods)
-Plastic in our oceans killing blue green algae (our #1 supplier of oxygen)
-Farmed fish
-Military industrial complex
-Low cost of goods = modern day slavery
-Major spying programs NSA etc.
-Whistle-blowers discredited
-White collar crime - swept under rug
-Untruthful News
-LGBT killings all over the world
-LGBT human right denied
-Humans denied basics to survive so the richer can get richer (yes it goes hand in hand)
-USA's newest attack on Iran
-Gross World Military Spending
-Pipeline and grossly ignored environmental statistics and facts
-Still cleaning up Exxon Valdez spill from 1991
-Still cleaning up from BP spill in the Gulf of Mexico
-The Westbank nuff said...
-Mass calming of the public with lovely distractions
-Wage difference between men and women
-How the word feminist became a dirty word
-Fracking nuff said...
-Algae Blooms killing off major ecosystems
-Destruction and privatization of the public sector
-Teachers and what they face and what they are trying to do
-Bullying on the rise despite the cause being en vogue
-Dolphin slaughters and dolphin meat used with out public knowing
-People being harassed for growing food not lawns
-Stephen Harper's rein nuff said...
-USA/Canada's glaring abuse of  the rules don't apply to them on the world stage
-Collateral Damage on unjustified wars
-Slut shaming
-Fox news nuff said...
-The killing of the newspaper and how our news is not grassroots anymore but a pile of carefully selected headlines
-Sudan and other countries with civil war: "If this scale of destruction and fighting was in Europe, then people would be calling it World War III"
-Child Brides
-FGM
-Child sex trafficking
-Nestle and their beyond poor business/environmental practices
-Our addiction to oil
-Major losses in biodiversity
-World-wide Indigenous genocide
-Arms trade/biological warfare - the scary people with the finger on the button
-Advertising directed at children

I could go on but I won't. I am not here to be on a soap box or tell you how to think. I just want people to read this: that our comfy North American sheltered lives need reminding that the world is imploding in so many different ways. Reminding myself included. I am not a conspiracy theorist or a fear monger I am a person who cares, deeply.

You have the power to change things you have what the rich and powerful fear the most... a vote. The rich fear this so much that when higher numbers of people went out to vote they rigged the results... The "Hanging Chad" ring a bell? Don't squander your vote. If everyone voted who are legally able to vote the world would be such a different place. This goes way beyond the cliché, "If you don't vote you can't bitch." Apathy is so last decade.

I know I have missed so many other issues worth mentioning. If you have an issue on your mind please share it in the comments.  I really want to know what is on your mind.

Hugs and Shit

The Momma

                                  Big news in Vancouver of a whole lotta... don't give a fuck.

Lord Tunderin Jaysus!

Funny shit I have said to my kids this week...

"Thing 1 please stop showing me your neck."
"Thing 2 how did you get pennies in your diaper? Do we even have pennies? Are you magic or something?"
"Who has been eating grocery list? Thing 2 are you trying to tell me something?"
"Who farted in the igloo?! I feel like I am eating your poo particles!"
"Thing 2 please don't put marbles in the wall vacuum hole."
"Thing 1 you cannot eat couch crackers for breakfast."
"Thing 1 stop raccooning into the cornstarch, I know it feels cool."
"Thing 1 stop tackling your brother and Thing 2 stop pretending you don't like it. I see you antagonizing him!"

Holy shirt it is Thursday. Life happened again. yay! Today is Thing 1's last preschool class. He is very excited to stop going to school but he has no idea what is in store for him in September. We have talked about, read books about it and even gone to the kindergarten orientation but he feels pretty smug as he thinks he has graduated for life. Cute-nervous-anxiety-ridden monkey-butt.

So Thing 1 is gearing up for tomorrow's "Take the bus Friday" adventure. Me thinks there is no getting out of this activity for this week. No amount of distractions will work either, we are taking the goddamn bus. Here is the list of activites Thing 1 has set up for us tomorrow... His words!

Gotta eat Breakfast
Get dressed in socks, shoes, shorts and shirt, don't hurt my arm
take the c36 to downtown kokos (poco)
take the 160 bus to the brown mall
go to london (drugs) and look at all the toys
go to the food place and get fruits and vegibles from the stand
go to the potty, momma you need to go there
Go to the park
go back to london (drugs) and buy my birthday present
take the 188 bus to the train station
go to the train station and watch the desiels
go to the library
go to elks park
walk to the ice cream store
go home
put Thing 2 down for a nappies
play marbles with me
we make cookies and eat them
then we'll play outside and play what time is it Mr. wolf and stop go
No tutoring momma, not tonight
bath - mommas turn
no dinner, I don't want dinner
no bedtime

I am tired just reading that. The boy loves his schedules. Beware - do not deviate from the schedule or you will face the consequences! So cute.

ok I think I am done...

Hugs & Shit
The Momma

Thing 1 Bananer count - none?! he is off of bananers right now. I have 8 of them rotting in a bowl
No Fucking figs bars - Lord tunderin Jaysus
Thing 2 bail count - lost count
One feeling accomplished momma - zero

Yeah that's right... Livin' the poo life.

Thneeeeeedville mania has come to my house.

I farted in the grocery store today, I know cliche right, but I did and someone walked right through it. I choked on my own burning tires fart I wonder what they thought? Oh geez. Then for the next 30 minutes I dodged them as best as I could. My life is so serendipitous that I betcha that person is going to be my new neighbour or something. You know, just the universe playing funny fart games with me. I guess I am ok with that. Again, this is the shit that clouds my brain. I could have been a rocket surgeon dammit.

So the weekend it over! I survived. I was a solo parent just for the weekend. MAJOR kudos, hats off, bowing and high-fiving all the single parents out there. I have always admired you and this weekend was a great reminder of how tough and tiring single parenting is. BLESS YOU for raising beautiful kids!

Weekend in a nutshell...

Friday... hubs gone... take the bus Friday (see previous blog)

Saturday... Up and the crack of snuh. I set my alarm as Thing 1 has a dentist appointment. Thing 1 has major anxieties and high functioning autism. Dentists in his mind are the anti-Christ. He is, in all honesty, an anti-dentite. My alarm goes off but I accidentally set it to radio. I can sleep through anything including thunderstorms. I, by the grace of the universe, wake up 30 minutes prior to appointment. This means no breaky, rushing routine, no shower, trying to stay calm for my anxiety ridden dude and to top it all Thing 2 is sleeping away like a boss. Jealous. Wake up Thing 2, get things dressed, Thing 1 is pissed and declared it to be move in slo-mo Saturday. Classic. Thing 2, strap him in the car, screaming, I broke his granola bar or I didn't open the package the right way... you pick. Things in the car, diaper bag packed and 10 minutes to get there, park, pay for parking and get inside ready to do a quick social story to Thing 1 about how the dentist is in fact, not the Anti-Christ. Although, I am sure some would beg to differ. I personally love my dentist he is really nice and kinda hot. Yup, I have a hot dentist. So the dental visit was merely a tooth count and a quick rub of flouride. Thing 1 is still refusing. Bless him and his anxiety-ridden, sensory-sensitive mind. It might come down to sedation. barf. After the 7th level of hell of Thing 1's Inferno we head to IHOP! Where our day got progressively better. After that Michael's and home. Nana and Gramps came over for a quick babysit as I tutored 2 awesome kids and then me and the buddies chilling with a fun neighbourhood kid named something that rhymes with Bolivia. It was great she was my momma help of sorts! We had her over for dinner and took her and the Things to Art Knapps. I funkin' love that place. I rented The Hobbit and fell asleep on the couch. So nice.

Sunday.... Wake up to Thing 1 in my bed with his arms wrapped around me. Insert awwww here. So awesome. I then hear Thing 2 pushing/kicking the wall so his crib would move around the room. Smart monkey-butt. He successfully, from his crib-mobile, changed the settings on the AC, found a train (I have no funkin clue how he got it), tore down the blackout sheets and took off his pants and diaper. Classic. I walk in and he looks at me with a big smile and says... "Tacomb adeese Teegah!" I reply with "Well a Tacomb adeese Teegah to you too!" Now these three words mean something to him. I have not quite figured out what they mean but he uses them a lot. They are very important and special words! I want to know! Head downstairs, babysitter arrives, go for a quick grocery-shop sans-Things and back home to tutor 2 awesome kids. What did we do after that? Played marble run, watched the movie of the month (The Lorax), ate monkeycheese (mack n cheese), pooped ourselves, read 10 books, ate a few bananers, slow cooked some pork, cleaned out my Tupperware cupboard, Things played with Tupperware items, watched a brief thunderstorm, danced to the Thneedville theme song, wrote fajah's day cards, coloured fajah's day cards, got peed on, high-fived Thing 2 - My high fivin' son-of-a-bitch at least 20 times and tried to teach Thing 1 how to thumb war. Thing 1 just liked the counting part. Dinner, baths, bedtime. Hubs home! <3 Love the hubs. A shout out to all the hubs out there! You are a great father and don't you forget it! Now 3 hours of lesson plans ahead of me. Superness.

A special shout out the the friends who rhyme with Blavis and Blaffy Blale for a copy of the Lorax. The Things LOVE it and I cannot get the kitschy songs out of my head. Thneeeeeeeeeeeeedvile! "I am going to eat this but I'm highly offended by it." - Lorax   So good.

So it is time... I go to work. Bless you all for reading this godforsaken blog.

HUGS & Shit
The ampersand makes it look fancy but it is not.

The Momma

Feta, flock of seagulls and marshmallows...

 Let's eat Grandma! Let's eat, Grandma! Proper punctuation can save lives.

Hey! It was take the bus Friday! Even though I had the car today Thing 1 insisted on taking the bus to the "brown mall" as he calls it. Is is possible to start to hate Fridays? So up and the crack of snuh listening to Thing 2 yelling "Budah fock do lem o stan!" Such a potty mouth. My hubs is off this weekend on a boys only bromantical trip. So it is just me and the Things, taking on the world. So we see the hubs off and we go to the bus! yay! BUS! Fuckin yes! We do our usual "brown mall" routine, we go to London Drugs and check out the on-sale toys then we go to the fruit, veg, salad stand and get the same thing... feta, watermelon, corn, grapes, olives and a hard boiled egg. mmmm... random. mmm olive-watermelon juice. We then head to the play area where somebody smells like poop. Oh wait that was my kid. Oh well I guess it was my turn. Then we head back out to the bus station where I am bombarded with a 100 questions about bus numbers, schedules and which bus we are taking. I feel bad but once again my brain goes on auto-pilot and I may owe Thing 1 a talking airplane. heh... time will tell. We head back home, we are exiting out bus at our stop. Some kind bus patrons help me with my stroller, bags etc... The Things are happy, I am popping the stroller back open when I notice the tray is gone. Flock of seagulls!!!! The bus people did not see the tray and I did not check the bus. Oh well, life happens. But where will I put my water bottle? What will I do with the rock collection Thing 2 gives me? Where will the dandelions go to die? boo. I could do the lost and found thing with the bus co. But that smacks of effort. So I will rig something up like I always do. The hubs is not going to like this. He, like his son, have a hard time with change. He won't know where to put his keys or coffee. He will have no tray to organize and clean after I use it. Oh dear. So I wonder what the Hubs is doing right now? Probably getting drunk in the motel room making a frozen pizza and having a marshmallow fight in their y-fronts. Cause you know every woman fantasizes about that. ;) Nah... I am so glad one of the guys there is a police officer to keep things a little more tame. No drunk tank crap. I can't wait to hear the stories when he gets back.... he might even be a little drunk still...

Hugs & Shit

The Momma

The terrible 2s, 5s and 40s...

Real shit I have said to my family...

The Momma to Thing 1: So what exactly do you mean when you say, "I left daddy's keys in the bun?"

The Momma to the Hubs: "How come I am so much more buffer than you?" (As I give him the gun show)

The Momma to the Things: "So what is the rule about poop?" The Things: "No touching the poop!"

Momma to Thing 1: "Buddy, you have eaten 5 and a half bananers today, that's a new record, high fiver buddy!" Thing 1: "Can I have another ban-nan-na Momma?" The Momma: "No way man you are already baking a bananer bread loaf in your butt."

Momma to Thing 2: "Buddy, stop standing on the dvd cases! You are just raising your bail count for the day."

Momma to the Things: "What is the rule about jumping on the beds?" Thing 1: "No touching the poop!" Momma: "That's right!"

What the Momma says daily to Thing 1 & 2: "That's going into my blog."

The Momma to Thing 2: "Buddy please stop licking my face, it is starting to get stiff."

The Momma to the Hubs: "That beer smells like... bird throw up."

The Momma to Thing 2: "Buddy, stop tossing your bowl full of crackers when we park the car."

The Momma to Thing 1: "Buddy, why do you have my bra in the leg of your pants?"

Thing 1 to the Momma: "Momma, where are we going today?" The Momma: "Crazy."

The Momma to the Hubs: "Stop shitting in my office! I work here. Do I go into your cubicle and shit there? No." The Hubs: "But I don't have a toilet in my cubicle."

I'm tired... and a grateful momma... goodnight.

Hugs & Shit

The Momma

Almost a Day Zero

Seriously?! I have had one beer and I now have the beer sweats. Alcohol is weird, I guess that is why I rarely drink. Now I am all sweaty and tired. Stupid beer.

So today was the day for outside! Normally it is take the bus Friday but Thing 1 didn't mention it so I did not push it. Woke up to Thing 1 wanting to watch videos on the tablet. Thing 2 babbling away in his crib singing to his banana in pajama and smacking the wall with something. Have breaky, get dressed, made the Things playing my room while I had a shower. Things are peeping Toms. Get out of shower Thing 1 asks if he can smell my boobs. classic. He asks me daily and smells them daily. I ask every time, "What do they smell like?" and without a pause Thing 1 always replies, "Like apples momma." You can't go wrong with apples. We pack up a picnic and head out the door. The Things want to go to park that rhymes with Yacht. A cute little park, shaded and quiet. We get there after 30 minutes of trekking and wouldn't you know, I have to shit. There are no bathrooms in sight unless I knock on someone's door. I seriously contemplated this. Then I thought well stranger leaving a nasty smell? mmmm... funny but not cool. That's right, if I know you,  I will shit in your toilet like a boss and not even spray or turn on the fan when I am done. I will own it too. So I started to get the poop sweats. I am walking around hoping for a miracle. Fuck it. I grab the baby wipes and I make my way into the forest. Today I shat in the woods. I am a wilderness Goddess. Play at park for a while, head home. The Things are not satisfied with outdoor time. Play in open garage. Force things to come in. eat. barely. Attempted to put Thing 2 down for a nap. Futile. Thing 2 is all like, I am too old and too cool for naps and the momma is like, lie down Mr. Monkey Butt, you don't know, you're two. So Thing 2 had quiet time for an hour destroying everything surrounding his crib. Mental note, move the shit surrounding his crib. Thing 1 outside the entire time. awesome. Thing 1 and 2 playing outside. Neighbourhood kids join in on the sprinkler action. Pretty awesome prevening. Hubs BBqs, neighbour kids invite themselves over for hot dogs. So fun. And I am not even being sarcastic. They were hilarious. Anti-Social Thing 1 was all over it too. Roll with it. After dinner spent the evening lying on a blanket in the back yard with the things. I had a very intense conversation with Thing 1 about the future. He said he will have a family when he is 20. I rhetorically said, I wonder what it is going to be like in the future and Thing 1 said the world will be bigger. (smart muffin-butt) I asked him if he wanted to fly planes or go to outer space when he gets older. He said no, that is for rocketship people. I asked him who are rocketship people and he said momma the people who drive the rocketships silly. Naturally. I asked him how did I get to be so lucky to be your momma? He replied, I picked you mom. sigh. I am the chosen one!

Moral of the story: I am the chosen one.
Thing 2 bail count: at least 12
What time is it mr. wolf games back to back: 11
bananer count: zero (ran out)
No fig bars to find or count
Poops
in the forest: 1

Hugs and Shit

The Momma

Friends Don't Let Friends Text and Cut Grass...

Inspirational Quote:
If there are an infinite amount of numbers then there are infinite ways of naming numbers, therefore my favorite number is:

courtneyisawesome.gov.org.ca.net.com#andthereisnothingyoucandoaboutitand8andmaybe3withasprinkleofpancakes.
 Now that you know the intimate details of my life, what is your favorite number.

So today happened which is a miracle upon itself.  Woke up at 8:00 AM to crazy landscapers weed whacking the shit out of an odd shaped, lumpy, hunk of grass and the ride-em mover guy doing 30km/hour texting and cutting in my back yard. It was quite alarming actually. If there was a dog or a small child, there would have been most certainly a swerve or two. So weird they go from doing next to nothing all day to landscaping on speed. I betcha they wanted to get off early or the big boss did a spot check. I don't blame them, so nice out.

So Thing 2 slept until 9:30 AM, must be nice. It is all of those late nights with dad. arg. This means Thing 2 will not nap today. It is a vicious cycle! Thing 1 asked me to turn on the tablet for him while I was still half asleep. He accidentally bonked me on the head with a corner of it. To which I responded, "OK universe I am awake!" I then heard a small sigh of relief from the natural hum of the earth. Too out there for you? Well, too bad muggle!

A quick synopsis of today...
10:30-11 AM Walk on river trail
Things run and ride bikes
11:00-12:00Go to rhymes with Blions Park today
12:00-12:30 Went to river to chuck rocks
12:30-1:30 Walked into cute little Downtown ate lunch at the fountain
1:30-3:00 Walked trail to Park that rhymes with Belks Park
3:00-3:15 Walked home

All that fresh air and Thing 2 refuses to nap after all of that. Classic.
It took forever to go from one place to the next. But I have learned that with kids it is about the journey not the destination. It is the takeout and not the healthy shit you packed. It is about what they want in that moment not for the greater good. <Insert ominous voice> "The greater good." (50 points if you get that reference.)  It is about sitting when your feet are tired and lying down in the road when you simply cannot go on. It is about eating food off the ground even though mom said just leave it there for the squirrels. It is about the joy in every little thing that amuses them and within the next second crying because your brother touched your leg. It is about the mini heart attacks the momma gets when the Things to crazy stupid toddler/preschooler shit. It is about loving them on the roller coaster with no lap bar, just stay on and hold on for your fucking life. weeeeeee!

No fig bars to count
Thing 1 bananer count: 2
Thing 2 bail count: 5 that I saw
Polar Fucking Express-free days: 10

Hugs and SHit

The Momma

Captain Climate Control!

Today... the time was 5:30 PM. My awesome tutoring client has arrived. No hubs to be found. I have managed to feed kids, get dressed up for meeting, clean kitchen, changed bedsheets, tidy house, scrub out deep fryer, put away endless toys, empty dishwasher and get 3 loads of laundry done. I even shaved my legs! BAM! Super mom day. I am tutoring awesome kid, my Things, unsupervised, are watching Thomas the Train and all jacked up on the tablet. Hubs finally comes home, kinda late. Awesome tutoring kid asks for glass of water. I go upstairs. See hubs. Give him a hug. He asks what the bag of garbage is in the sink. (snarky mcsnarkerson)  I say it is the watermelon rinds from an entire watermelon. Hubs pet peeve is garbage in the sink. I have double bagged the rinds. Hubs is annoyed. I have put watermelon rinds in the garbage before and it makes a terrible watery slush mess, I was told not to put them there. I thought I was doing something right! I rarely take out garbage. We have determined that garbage is the hubs chore, nothing new. He complains about the garbage again. I calmly say to him, "Take a look around" and then walked out of the room like a BOSS! Yeah that's right.
The airing of the grievances!

The momma's pet peeves: Find hubs socks everywhere, little shaving hairs everywhere and I mean everywhere, burning tire farts in bed, used boy toilets, leaving the ironing stuff out every Monday for me to put it away, rearranging my work, origami folding my t-shirts, trying to teach me how to fold a fitted sheet, refolding my towels, newspapers on the dining room table all the time, putting the kids to bed waaaay to late, strangely obsessive about home climate control...etc...

Note to all the hubs out there reading this.... look around first then lodge a complaint. If the house is spotless and the children are happy and all you have to do is sit down and eat after coming home from work, just sit and enjoy. The hubs realized his faux pas and now owes me a foot rub or something. For the record I have an amazing hubs he is just usually a stress mess when he gets home from work. Doesn't mean I get all 1950s prozac on him, just means I get to call him on his shit and in turn he gets to call me on mine and thank Gord for that!

Thing 1 bananer count 1
Thing 1 watermelon count 1
Thing 2 bail count 4 that I saw
No funkin' fig bars to count

**Note to all potential parents out there... when you give your child the middle name Fox, it will come out as a swear word for a few years**

Hugs and Shit

The Momma

                                                                The Garbage Natzi

                                                            Captain Climate Control
                                                            The best hubs award 2014