Thneeeeeedville mania has come to my house.

I farted in the grocery store today, I know cliche right, but I did and someone walked right through it. I choked on my own burning tires fart I wonder what they thought? Oh geez. Then for the next 30 minutes I dodged them as best as I could. My life is so serendipitous that I betcha that person is going to be my new neighbour or something. You know, just the universe playing funny fart games with me. I guess I am ok with that. Again, this is the shit that clouds my brain. I could have been a rocket surgeon dammit.

So the weekend it over! I survived. I was a solo parent just for the weekend. MAJOR kudos, hats off, bowing and high-fiving all the single parents out there. I have always admired you and this weekend was a great reminder of how tough and tiring single parenting is. BLESS YOU for raising beautiful kids!

Weekend in a nutshell...

Friday... hubs gone... take the bus Friday (see previous blog)

Saturday... Up and the crack of snuh. I set my alarm as Thing 1 has a dentist appointment. Thing 1 has major anxieties and high functioning autism. Dentists in his mind are the anti-Christ. He is, in all honesty, an anti-dentite. My alarm goes off but I accidentally set it to radio. I can sleep through anything including thunderstorms. I, by the grace of the universe, wake up 30 minutes prior to appointment. This means no breaky, rushing routine, no shower, trying to stay calm for my anxiety ridden dude and to top it all Thing 2 is sleeping away like a boss. Jealous. Wake up Thing 2, get things dressed, Thing 1 is pissed and declared it to be move in slo-mo Saturday. Classic. Thing 2, strap him in the car, screaming, I broke his granola bar or I didn't open the package the right way... you pick. Things in the car, diaper bag packed and 10 minutes to get there, park, pay for parking and get inside ready to do a quick social story to Thing 1 about how the dentist is in fact, not the Anti-Christ. Although, I am sure some would beg to differ. I personally love my dentist he is really nice and kinda hot. Yup, I have a hot dentist. So the dental visit was merely a tooth count and a quick rub of flouride. Thing 1 is still refusing. Bless him and his anxiety-ridden, sensory-sensitive mind. It might come down to sedation. barf. After the 7th level of hell of Thing 1's Inferno we head to IHOP! Where our day got progressively better. After that Michael's and home. Nana and Gramps came over for a quick babysit as I tutored 2 awesome kids and then me and the buddies chilling with a fun neighbourhood kid named something that rhymes with Bolivia. It was great she was my momma help of sorts! We had her over for dinner and took her and the Things to Art Knapps. I funkin' love that place. I rented The Hobbit and fell asleep on the couch. So nice.

Sunday.... Wake up to Thing 1 in my bed with his arms wrapped around me. Insert awwww here. So awesome. I then hear Thing 2 pushing/kicking the wall so his crib would move around the room. Smart monkey-butt. He successfully, from his crib-mobile, changed the settings on the AC, found a train (I have no funkin clue how he got it), tore down the blackout sheets and took off his pants and diaper. Classic. I walk in and he looks at me with a big smile and says... "Tacomb adeese Teegah!" I reply with "Well a Tacomb adeese Teegah to you too!" Now these three words mean something to him. I have not quite figured out what they mean but he uses them a lot. They are very important and special words! I want to know! Head downstairs, babysitter arrives, go for a quick grocery-shop sans-Things and back home to tutor 2 awesome kids. What did we do after that? Played marble run, watched the movie of the month (The Lorax), ate monkeycheese (mack n cheese), pooped ourselves, read 10 books, ate a few bananers, slow cooked some pork, cleaned out my Tupperware cupboard, Things played with Tupperware items, watched a brief thunderstorm, danced to the Thneedville theme song, wrote fajah's day cards, coloured fajah's day cards, got peed on, high-fived Thing 2 - My high fivin' son-of-a-bitch at least 20 times and tried to teach Thing 1 how to thumb war. Thing 1 just liked the counting part. Dinner, baths, bedtime. Hubs home! <3 Love the hubs. A shout out to all the hubs out there! You are a great father and don't you forget it! Now 3 hours of lesson plans ahead of me. Superness.

A special shout out the the friends who rhyme with Blavis and Blaffy Blale for a copy of the Lorax. The Things LOVE it and I cannot get the kitschy songs out of my head. Thneeeeeeeeeeeeedvile! "I am going to eat this but I'm highly offended by it." - Lorax   So good.

So it is time... I go to work. Bless you all for reading this godforsaken blog.

HUGS & Shit
The ampersand makes it look fancy but it is not.

The Momma