The terrible 2s, 5s and 40s...

Real shit I have said to my family...

The Momma to Thing 1: So what exactly do you mean when you say, "I left daddy's keys in the bun?"

The Momma to the Hubs: "How come I am so much more buffer than you?" (As I give him the gun show)

The Momma to the Things: "So what is the rule about poop?" The Things: "No touching the poop!"

Momma to Thing 1: "Buddy, you have eaten 5 and a half bananers today, that's a new record, high fiver buddy!" Thing 1: "Can I have another ban-nan-na Momma?" The Momma: "No way man you are already baking a bananer bread loaf in your butt."

Momma to Thing 2: "Buddy, stop standing on the dvd cases! You are just raising your bail count for the day."

Momma to the Things: "What is the rule about jumping on the beds?" Thing 1: "No touching the poop!" Momma: "That's right!"

What the Momma says daily to Thing 1 & 2: "That's going into my blog."

The Momma to Thing 2: "Buddy please stop licking my face, it is starting to get stiff."

The Momma to the Hubs: "That beer smells like... bird throw up."

The Momma to Thing 2: "Buddy, stop tossing your bowl full of crackers when we park the car."

The Momma to Thing 1: "Buddy, why do you have my bra in the leg of your pants?"

Thing 1 to the Momma: "Momma, where are we going today?" The Momma: "Crazy."

The Momma to the Hubs: "Stop shitting in my office! I work here. Do I go into your cubicle and shit there? No." The Hubs: "But I don't have a toilet in my cubicle."

I'm tired... and a grateful momma... goodnight.

Hugs & Shit

The Momma