Lord Tunderin Jaysus!

Funny shit I have said to my kids this week...

"Thing 1 please stop showing me your neck."
"Thing 2 how did you get pennies in your diaper? Do we even have pennies? Are you magic or something?"
"Who has been eating grocery list? Thing 2 are you trying to tell me something?"
"Who farted in the igloo?! I feel like I am eating your poo particles!"
"Thing 2 please don't put marbles in the wall vacuum hole."
"Thing 1 you cannot eat couch crackers for breakfast."
"Thing 1 stop raccooning into the cornstarch, I know it feels cool."
"Thing 1 stop tackling your brother and Thing 2 stop pretending you don't like it. I see you antagonizing him!"

Holy shirt it is Thursday. Life happened again. yay! Today is Thing 1's last preschool class. He is very excited to stop going to school but he has no idea what is in store for him in September. We have talked about, read books about it and even gone to the kindergarten orientation but he feels pretty smug as he thinks he has graduated for life. Cute-nervous-anxiety-ridden monkey-butt.

So Thing 1 is gearing up for tomorrow's "Take the bus Friday" adventure. Me thinks there is no getting out of this activity for this week. No amount of distractions will work either, we are taking the goddamn bus. Here is the list of activites Thing 1 has set up for us tomorrow... His words!

Gotta eat Breakfast
Get dressed in socks, shoes, shorts and shirt, don't hurt my arm
take the c36 to downtown kokos (poco)
take the 160 bus to the brown mall
go to london (drugs) and look at all the toys
go to the food place and get fruits and vegibles from the stand
go to the potty, momma you need to go there
Go to the park
go back to london (drugs) and buy my birthday present
take the 188 bus to the train station
go to the train station and watch the desiels
go to the library
go to elks park
walk to the ice cream store
go home
put Thing 2 down for a nappies
play marbles with me
we make cookies and eat them
then we'll play outside and play what time is it Mr. wolf and stop go
No tutoring momma, not tonight
bath - mommas turn
no dinner, I don't want dinner
no bedtime

I am tired just reading that. The boy loves his schedules. Beware - do not deviate from the schedule or you will face the consequences! So cute.

ok I think I am done...

Hugs & Shit
The Momma

Thing 1 Bananer count - none?! he is off of bananers right now. I have 8 of them rotting in a bowl
No Fucking figs bars - Lord tunderin Jaysus
Thing 2 bail count - lost count
One feeling accomplished momma - zero

Yeah that's right... Livin' the poo life.