Dentist Strikes Again...

Today was a lay-about day. Thing 1 was NOT impressed. You know I say lay-about but it was anything but. I woke up at 7:20 AM to my husband's alarm and thank goodness for that as my alarm decides that today it will be radio-alarm day. I don't know about you but I need the soul shaking, mind shattering, fucking car alarm, obnoxious sounding eeehhh ehhhh eeehhhh for me to wake. I am legendary for my sleeping skills. I have slept through thunder storms, hockey games, birthday parties and even a 54-40 concert, granted I was on a couch. I digress. I have not woken from an alarm since my last day at my last job back in January 2012. It was shocking and downright asshole inducing. So today was dentist day. Oh yes, the fucking dentist. Like my son I am an antidentite. Well, that is not entirely true as you see my dentist is very good looking and super charming. I get kind of flummoxed and say random gibberish like, "Today hot, me sad." Fack. But once again I am reminded that the universe has got my back and they have installed TVs on the ceilings with netflicks. Sweet Jesus, the day got more amazing and I didn't even notice dr. smoldering-pants.
I thought I would try out the series called "Derek" with Ricky Gervais. I am a big fan of Mr. Gervais! The way he hosted the Golden Globes a couple of years back was fucking brilliant. So standard procedure; big ass needle, freezing, dental dam and let the fun begin. I had no clue, I was so fixated on the TV trying to hold back laughter and had tears leaving the corner of my eyes. A dentist chair, mouth dam, drill wielding dentist is a tricky operation. Dr. McDreamy-Head had to stop and look up to see what I was watching and then asked if I was crying. I responded, "Yes, I am crying, this is the best dentist visit of my life!" He then asked, "What are you watching?!" to which I wiped the tears from my frozen face, assuming they were there and replied, "Derek" For the rest of the session I did my best to not move which was extremely difficult since I have discovered Dentist giggles are way worse and more dangerous than church giggles, although, that is up for debate.

Got home from best Dentist visit ever
The Things attacked
Hubs left for work
Ate breaky
Momma helper arrived at 11 AM to play with the kids for 2 hours while I worked

Momma helpers... best thing ever!
I have a neighbourhood kid who is 10 and amazing who has offered her momma helper in-house babysitting services. It is bloody brilliant! She plays with the kids for 2 hours while I am at home so I can work and she gets $5/hour. So awesome. I have even debated in my head if a one hour nap is worth $5, by the way yes, yes it is.

Worked my butt off
Played with kids
Thing 2 actually went down for his nap today. Thing 2 - Zero   Nap- 1
Thing 1 and I baked muffins
Thing 1 and I played outside
Thing 2 awake
Thing 1 mad Thing 2 is awake
Too bad
Life sucks trucks when you are 5
Temporarily sympathize with Thing 1  as Thing 2 has become a terrorist
Hubs comes home
Tutor 2 awesome kids
Dinner
Bedtime
Clean kitchen
Clean playroom
Clean living room
Now in office procrastinating real work.

Moral of the story: Find a good looking Dentist with Netflicks.
Rocks in my purse count: 2
Bananers: none
Banana muffins: 2 dozen
Thing 2 bail count: at least 4 that I saw
Thing 1 whine count: 11 billion and 4
Edited Writing: Zero
Idea for dentists everywhere: Provide magna doodles to patients so we can communicate with you

After all is said and done, I have the bestest hubs and Things in the world. I would not trade em for anything. Well maybe trade them for a trip to the space station Mir.

Hugs and Shit

The Momma

                                                 Man we are cute. (My seester and Bro)