Paleo Parenting

Thing 2 started biting a few months ago. I tried the lovingly talking it through method, I tried the "Ouch that hurts mommy!" card, I tried the fake whimpering, I tried the time out, I tried the read a book about it solution. You name it, I tried it. It came to a head one day in the middle of Thing 1's preschool graduation ceremony. I was videoing Thing1's ceremony when I felt this shocking and most horrible jarring pain. I felt Thing 2's arms wrap around my leg like a baby koala when he chomped on me with his sharp jagged baby teeth. It came at such a surprise I actually yelled out, "Oh my God he bit me!" Everyone stopped and looked at me. I laughed and replied, "Sorry! sorry... sorry..." I picked up Thing 2 and took him outside. I had enough of captain bitey-pants. I took his hand and I very casually bit him. Not hard, but enough to shock him. That was the last time he bit anyone. I have come to learn that toddlers are like little cave people. They grunt, bite, use rudimentary tools, they are messy, get into things because they are naturally curious, they stomp, they throw things, they try to be naked all the time, they have the potential to draw on the walls, they run everywhere, they can be nomadic, they smell and lastly, they are all about the survival of the fittest.  I figure sometimes my little caveman needs a different set of parenting skills.  #Paleoparent

Hugs and Shit

The Momma

                A savvy modern-day cave-child demonstrating one of the many uses of her portable cave.

Why I am not taking the $40...

Everything is so up in the air... I hope it gets resolved - fast.

Disclaimer: There are NO judgements on who and or why you are going or not going to take the $40/day but here are my very personal reasons for not wanting to take the $40/day.

• I am in a fortunate situation where I have a home-based business and I am a stay-at-home mom therefore I do not need the money for what it is intended for, even though it could help us in these financially tricky times. Having said that I have some clients who have teachers as parents and they might not renew their contacts with me due to not being able to pay the mortgage.

• I do not want to take Christy Clark's bribe - dirty money

• The money is taxable income

• A horrible band-aid solution and tactic for a very big mess

• What the provincial government is doing is illegal as the classroom size issue has gone to court not once but twice and the they are not holding up their end of the court appointed deal. It is like the deadbeat parent not paying child support. 

• The compensation is a slap in the face to what is really being missed out on

• The approx $12 million/day spent could be saved and invested for future education budgets

• The $40/day ploy divides the parents and the teachers - just what Christy wants

• It was never supposed to be my money in the first place

• All other provinces spend more money on the kids than does BC

• By the time BC kids finish grade twelve, the kind government of BC will have spent $13,000 less than any other province for their education.

• Every other province goes to binding arbitration when there is a dispute with teachers. BC does not. Clark does not think it is "necessary".

• No other province has ever bribed parents to keep their kids home from school. BC has.

• No other government has talked about the "affordability zone" while making sure that MLA salaries increase by 70% and personal assistants by astronomical amounts in the past five years.

 Now that I have said what I have said please I do not judge anyone for taking the money. You do what you have to do and you have your very justified reasons for doing so I am sure! In fact, my husband and I disagree on this and he is applying for the money despite my arguments. My husband assures me that the $40/day will go into an RESP. I still do not feel good about it though.

I welcome comments! And don't feel like you have to justify to me about taking the money, we all have our reasons! Also, I am not on any high horses here! Me (trying) not taking the money is my own personal stand.

Hugs & Shit

The Momma

Bucket List

As you can probably tell by now I am a big fan of lists. Lists are the shit. Lists are beautiful. Lists can be organized, alphabetized, arranged by due date, arranged by category, arranged by colour, this list to describe lists can go on and on and on. You can even have an unorganized list because the list its self is a mode to organization. Lists. I live by them. Without my lists and calendar I would be wandering the mean streets of my city wondering when my library books would be due or if my child had school that day or not. I rely heavily on my lists as my brain simply cannot hold the amount of short term information that my life requires. Now that I have shared my passion for lists and organization I am going to share with you my bucket list.

Learn French and have real French conversations
Skydive
Scuba Dive
Go to a communist country
Learn to drive standard
Join an adult choir
Take opera lessons
Fly a kite on Cannon beach
Zip Trek
Climb Golden Ears
Become a doctor
Grow my own food
Become a beekeeper
Have a home based-business
Learn to make really good Mexican food
Make peace with my addiction to food
Snowboard or ski
Go zorbing
Go on a haunted walking tour
Be a part of a paranormal investigation
Prepare a will
Be a published writer
Trek to Everest Base camp
Learn to play backgammon
See the Aurora Borealis
Travel to Iceland
Plant a tree and watch it grow
Learn how to wear makeup
Wine Tour
Go surfing
Relearn how to read music
Be known for a recipe
Play on a national level team
Volunteer at a hospice
Get over my fear of snakes
Fly in a helicopter
Have kids
Be in a life long commitment with someone
Teach someone to read
Go to a spiritual retreat
Astral travel
Go to Newfoundland
Go to England
By a house with some land

oh my *shudders* lists are amazeballz.

Hugs & Shit

The Momma

                                                     This is a most excellent idea.

The Fountain, diaper tales and other Thing 2 Shenanigans

What happened today?!

Got up at 8:45 AM, 15 minutes before 1st awesome tutoring kid
No show
Call parent
No response
I hope everyone is ok
Do admin from 9-10 am
wait for next client
no show
hmmm....
Do more admin
Finally 11:15 am client! yay!
Tutor awesome possum kid for an hour
Done
Go upstairs to eat something
attacked by Things
Hubs and Thing 1 are going fishing with Gramps today.
Get Thing 1 dressed
Accidentally clocks me in the nose with cast on his arm
Classic
Get Thing 2 dressed
Kicks me while changing diaper as he wants to be naked and play with his penis
Let Thing 2 play with penis
Give him a minute
look back at Thing 2
He has dreamy eyes
Tell Thing 2 that I am putting on his diaper
Tell Thing 2 stop looking at me with dreamy eyes
Suitably wigged out
Get the hubs and Thing 1 out the door with out Thing 2 noticing
Success
Play with Thing 2
Thing 2 rips off diaper and plays with his penis
Thing 2 promptly pees with a nice big arched stream
Thing 2 plays with fountain and laughs
Momma cleans up pee and leaves Thing 2 naked
Eat some lunch
Waged WW3 with Thing 2 to get diaper back on for a nap
Thing 2 zero - The Momma 1
Nap time
HOLY SHIT I HAVE 2 HOURS
I worked, naturally although a nap was in the cards
Boys came home with their catch
In laws came over for salmon dinner
YUM
Put boys to bed
IN basement working
Again... more lesson plans
No eating tonight! Must fast for diabetes testing
Mandatory 2 years post gestational diabetes testing test
Wish me luck
I want to eat
fack
oh well
maybe I'll go to bed on time tonight

Thing 2 bail count - 4 that I saw
Fig bar count - all accounted for
Humans farting on my lap today - 3
Wars fought and won - 1
Gratefulness - infinity

HUGS and SHIT
The Momma

                                                                       No words.

An Update on My To-Do List

 Do to List from Previous Blog...

* Purchase 20+ items in different places for Thing 1's ABA therapy sessions
* Take all receipts and fill out government forms - photocopy and submit
* Pay Visa - Thursday
* Pay Telus Bill  - Thursday * Make new Pics for Thing 1's therapy Pic board
* Tupperware order - Friday
* Recycle all old Tupperware - old warranties
* Blood work at the lab -required 3 hours and a shit load of fasting
* Find babysitting for said fasting blood work  Thank you Aunty Robyn!!
* Make eye Dr.. appointment for Thing 1 - Hope he cooperates this time
* Phonics and Math Game development for my business
* 11 Lesson Plans - Sunday
* Teachers Pay Teacher site - sell work sheets when come back from edit
* Cancel Paid Tupper-site - Thursday
* Extra Meeting with SLP make sure hubs can get 1/2 day from work and in-laws
* Re-read an Autism book - highlight parts that pertain to Thing 1 for others to read
* Take the bus Friday
*  Library - get stamps for reading club and return items - Thursday
* Canucks CAN Network sign up and find swimming lessons
* Volunteer with retreat organization
* Literature lady at 12 step meeting, make an order
* 5 loads of laundry
* change Thing 2's sheets as he peed through his PJs again - Thursday
* Organize Sept tutoring schedule
* Monthly paperwork
* Over the summer project the school gave us
* Need labels to label everything Thing 1 will take to school
* Check in on friend's cat this week
* Refill my prescription
* Pack a picnic - Friday night
* Print off all Tupperware parties for 2014 for tax time
* steam the floors from milk-gate - Thursday
* Figure out if I can play field hockey this year re: tutoring schedule
* Back up the hard drive
* Oil change for the car
* Read friend's recently publish book and write a review for her
* Make appointment for  Thing 1 to have his cast removed in 2 weeks - Thursday
* Email distant family members pic of Things as I don't post pics of kids on the internet
* Take pics of Things
* Arrange for babysitting in the fall 3 hours/week
* Grocery Shop - Sunday
* 4 dinner club - get it going
* Call dad, it's his birthday - Friday
* Invite in-laws over on Sunday for dinner - Thursday
* Exercise daily
* Pick up bday present for 3 year old girl
* Buy more bus tickets for take the bus Friday
* Buy more Apple/mint zylitol gum for tutoring kids
* Pick up lost item from the lost and found downtown
* Potty train Thing 2
* Decline picnic invite and thank the host for the invite
* apologize to friend for RSVPing yes to a BBQ and no-showing (yar...)
* Haircuts for Thing 1 & 2
* Find missing fig bar before the hubs has a fit

I am feeling quite accomplished!
Thank you to those who reached out and helped!!
Hugs and Shit
The Momma

                             This really happened. Don't get too excited, this shit doesn't happen every day.

Shapshot - Lit. and Fig.

I was writing out my to do list and I thought heck, I will type this shit out. Then I thought heck I will cut and paste out of MS word and share it with the world... do I have a point? Yes, read on...

* Purchase 20+ items in differnt places for Thing 1's ABA therapy sessions
* Take all receipts and fill out government forms - photocopy and submit
* Pay Visa - Thursday
* Pay Telus Bill  - Thursday
* Make new Pics for Thing 1's therapy Pic board
* Tupperware order - Friday
* Recycle all old Tupperware - old warranties
* Blood work at the lab -required 3 hours and a shit load of fasting
* Find babysitting for said fasting blood work
* Make eye Dr.. appointment for Thing 1 - Hope he cooperates this time
* Phonics and Math Game development for my business
* 11 Lesson Plans - Sunday
* Teachers Pay Teacher site - sell work sheets when come back from edit
* Cancel Paid Tupper-site - Thursday
* Extra Meeting with SLP make sure hubs can get 1/2 day from work and in-laws
* Re-read an Autism book - highlight parts that pertain to Thing 1 for others to read
* Take the bus Friday
*  Library - get stamps for reading club and return items - Thursday
* Canucks CAN Network sign up and find swimming lessons
* Volunteer with retreat organization
* Literature lady at 12 step meeting, make an order
* 5 loads of laundry
* change Thing 2's sheets as he peed through his PJs again - Thursday
* Organize Sept tutoring schedule
* Monthly paperwork
* Over the summer project the school gave us
* Need labels to label everything Thing 1 will take to school
* Check in on friend's cat this week
* Refill my perscription
* Pack a picnic - Friday night
* Print off all Tupperware parties for 2014 for tax time
* steam the floors from milk-gate - Thursday
* Figure out if I can play field hockey this year re: tutoring schedule
* Back up the hard drive
* Oil change for the car
* Read friend's recently publish book and write a review for her
* Make appointment for  Thing 1 to have his cast removed in 2 weeks - Thursday
* Email distant family members pic of Things as I don't post pics of kids on the internet
* Take pics of Things
* Arrange for babysitting in the fall 3 hours/week
* Grocery Shop - Sunday
* 4 dinner club - get it going
* Call dad, it's his birthday - Friday
* Invite in-laws over on Sunday for dinner - Thursday
* Exercise daily
* Pick up bday present for 3 year old girl
* Buy more bus tickets for take the bus Friday
* Buy more Apple/mint zylitol gum for tutoring kids
* Pick up lost item from the lost and found downtown
* Potty train Thing 2
* Decline picnic invite and thank the host for the invite
* apologize to friend for RSVPing yes to a BBQ and no-showing (yar...)
* Haircuts for Thing 1 & 2
* Find missing fig bar before the hubs has a fit

So I write this because, it keeps things in perspective for me, keeps me organized, and allows me to prioritize. I do not write this list to feel important or to one-up anyone. For me being busy is not ideal. I want to have hobbies again. I write this down as a reminder. I left a hard job working as an executive assistant downtown making a good salary and you know I have no regrets. This job is 10 times harder and a million times more fun. This is a snapshot of my life right now, I love it. I would not trade it for anything.

Hugs & Shit
The Momma

   My snapshot - As per the recommended guidelines set out by blogger and The Sears Portrait Studio.

My brain on fat...

Sitting with a group of friends, having a great night. Drunk guys shows up and barges in our good time. We let him as he is drunk and will probably not be around for long. Drunk idiot points out to a woman on the street below and says, "Holy shit, she is so fat!" I look at him and say, "That is not ok." He looks at me, realizes I am fat and says, "Oh its alll goood!" To which I respond, "No it's not." He quickly goes downstairs to the lady and apologizes like a bumbling fool. What an idiot. The lady never heard him and his original ugly comment. I look around thinking ok good he is gone lets continue on with the night right? I look at my friends and they seem uncomfortable. Should I say something? I have not taken what this man said personally it's done it is over. To no one's fault, I feel like the elephant in the room. I am suddenly aware of every lump and fold and my clothing suddenly does not feel ok. I feel compelled to say stuff. I don't really feel like explaining but it is something I feel like I have to do. Right or wrong. Perpetually, I feel like I need to constantly apologize for my place in the world. Sound fucked? Absolutely.

I have decided I no longer have to explain shit to anyone. I do not need to justify my fatness. I am fat and it is my own journey. I am not anyone's sexual fetish or punching bag. I am not here to please everyone but myself. I am not the happy go lucky jolly fat girl. I am just me. What if I am to physically change? That shit is too scary for words. Who am I without the fatness? At the core I know who I am but how will I fit into this world? How will the world respond to me? I don't want to hear about how I have lost weight from others. My weight is nobodies business but my own. The biggest compliment anyone can give is, "Wow, you look so happy!"

I over heard a conversation last night at a coffee shop. Two people chatting about their families and how they were so proud of their adult children and grandchildren and how not one of them is fat. Wow and wow. OK so fat=bad. I am a person. I have been on both side of the fat/skinny spectrum. I am sick of people treating me different for being fat. Fat discrimination sucks truck people. I hear people say well then if the fat is not working for you why not just change it? Oh right... that's it! Fuck, all these years had I known... fuck. You are so right. Jesus, I could teach a class on caloric intake and output. I could show you a million things about exercises and label reading. I have lost 80 lbs and gained it all right back. The issue is an inside one, it is my issue, it is a very personal issue and I am done explaining. The moral of this fantastic outburst.... everyone has a story. Everyone has a really personal fucking story that does not require justification. I feel relieved that have given myself permission to not explain anymore.

Hugs and Shit

The Momma

Really Time, really? You are so clever. ;) Classic.

                                                        

Unsolicited Advice - The Momma

Are your committee of assholes back at it? Are they taking up free rent in your brain?
Imagine 5 year old little adorable and amazing you, would you say such things to a 5 year old?

I highly doubt it.

Think of  that 5 year old the next time you have terrible thoughts.
You are heard, you are seen, you are loved.

                                                           Yeah I am talking to you.

I bet they won't do that again....

So I have a little story that is a stand up and slow clap kind of story...

A number of years ago, pre-kids, I went to pick up the Hubs from the ferry. You see every year the Hubs goes off with his buddies and has a drinking-mini-golfing'-karaoke-ing weekend on the island. It is really quite a spectacle and I love hearing about their shenanigans. I have to say if there is one way to recharge a dad's batteries, this is the best way for the HUBS. It is a brotherly bromance12+ years running. So it was a beautiful day and I decided I would go to the ferry terminal early: the sun was out, the bay is beautiful. I spend a few hours walking around, having some lunch and reading my book by the ocean, it was absolutely blissful. Now that I have children times like that are far and few between. I wish I had done it more often. I saw the ferry coming into the bay so I made my way to the ferry terminal.

Then this happened:

I was walking on the sidewalk making my way to the arrivals gate when a group of 6 "dad-normal-looking-40-ish-year-old-type-guys" walked passed me. Just when we were side by side I heard one of them say "Hey look Phil, it's your dream girl." in a mocking tone. I looked around to see who they were talking about and they were looking back at me. As they continued on their asshole-walk I started to follow them and yelled, "What the fuck did you just say?" Now 2 things... Number one cat calling is not appropriate whether it is in jest or as a compliment. Number two I know this was in jest. I continued to follow and yell at them publicly shaming them for being creeps, assholes, douche-bags and all around shitty people. The cowards did not look back. They started to walk faster. I went off about how I was someone's daughter and imagine if someone said that to your daughter or wife. In a blind rage I told them how sick it is that they think they can prey on women and how they get off on making people feel uncomfortable. This went on for one block when one of the guys turned around and said, "My friends are assholes ok!" When I responded, "And you are the company you keep!" They went into a pub and that is when I stopped, turned around and headed back to the ferry terminal. I felt sick to my stomach as the adrenaline was coursing through my body. I finally broke down. I was scared, I was pissed, I was beyond talking. Visibly upset I walked down the street when a young guy stood up from his park bench and did a slow-clap. It was a head-shaking, big-smiling, proud of what you just did slow-clap. He commented that he saw the whole thing and that it was awesome! He asked if I was going to be ok to which I said yes. It was him who allowed me to smile and give me a quick shot of faith in humanity. He also said, I am so glad that you did that. I am sure those jerks with think twice about doing that to someone else. This is true. I headed to the ferry and my hubs had arrived and all his buddies. He saw I was upset. I told the guys and they were ready to pummel something. They were extremely supportive and sorry that it had happened.

What I find interesting is that day I was feeling pretty good about myself. I had confidence walking through the world, which is rare in the summer-time. Bullies like that go after the "easy" prey. My weight, they thought, made me fodder for insult without retaliation. They were wrong and boy they were so wrong.This is not the first time something like this has happened to me. Fat is the easy joke. I do not let others define me.


Moral of the story: Don't make fun of this beautiful fat chick because you are going down!

Side note: TBBT should have a drinking game - every fat joke take a drink. I used to love this show, now they have saturated it with fat jokes and justifying fat jokes kind of comedy. boo on them.

                                               Where do I start with this? So many things...

Romance Shmoemance

So I guess I write. For those who do not know, I write romance stories. <insert heckling here> Yes, it is true, I write about steamy gazes from across the room and create fancy words for the man penis.  If I get published one day I will not tell you my pen name, unless of course, you are a closet fan of the lady porn. Now, if you come out of the lady porn closet I might just let you read my draft. You would remain anonymous... ah fuck it come out of the lady porn closet. Be loud and proud of the fact you like smut! Shout it from the roof tops, "I love lady porn!" and I will give you a snippet of my next blockbuster.


Here is a little ditty:  (to the tune of bah bah black sheep)

Romance, romance, romance books
How they make you sad about your looks
They make you want to lose some pounds
But you’re so into it you just lie down
Romance, romance, romance men
They hit you with a club and drag you in their den. 

Alright you dirty birds have a good BC day long weekend.

Hugs & Shit

The Momma

                                                                    Oh good god no.

An Archived Blog from Oct 3rd, 2008 - Wow and wow

I was going through my old files I had archived and apparently I used to blog back in the day on live journal.com. Huh, how 'bout them apples, I had completely forgot. Check out this doosey from Wednesday Oct 3rd, 2008. Super Serious Lady.

When I was a kid I struggled with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I was in a constant state of counting things. I would have to count the tiles on the ceiling, count cars in a parking lot and even count repetitively the same items over and over. OCD for me was a coping mechanism it was a way for me to deal with the outside world. If I felt I could not control the outside world then I could strictly deal with the inside one. I felt like a broken record that kept on skipping and I could not make it stop. 

I would also have OCD when it came to time and space.  For example, when I would go out walking I would have to pass the mailbox before the bus would come by 4 steps. If I didn’t make it I would have obsessive weird thoughts about me and my family dying. Same with when I looked at the clock, if the time had a 2 in it that would be a bad omen. If it had a 3, 4 or 8 in it all was good with the world. I would also have to tap things three times of check things three times which would often warrant strange looks from those around me. I simply could not help myself. My life was based on these strange rules I had to abide by. I spend countless hours concentrating on these obsessive number and special tasks that I didn’t have to deal with emotion or real life. It went beyond the avoidance as well; it was also about having control and structure in my little rules-based world it was the one thing I felt in control of. Also, on the neurological end brain also was behaving like a broken record and the obsessive rituals were uncontrollable.

Now most people have OCD tendencies. They have little rituals and play little mind games with themselves; this can be quite natural as your mind likes to make semblance and order to the world. When it becomes OCD is when you are overtaken by the rituals and you cannot fully function as a person. In other words OCD interferes with your life and it can be devastating.  

Now as an adult I no longer deal with OCD but deal with a different but same problem, eating disorders. The premise it the same, I am numbing out the outside world, I have control with bizarre eating rules, and I have repetitive and obsessive thought patterns around food. At this point in my life I have had several days in a row without eating disorders and it has been very liberating. Since I have had these clear days it is interestingly enough I have had little OCD moments. Which means my mind is trying to rely on old coping mechanisms when the eating disorders are absent. It is amazing how the mind tries to protect itself. 

 

On a neurological level I have to imagine my brain as a huge intricate wired network. When I have a thought my brain sends electrical pulses, shot off by my synapses, though my neuro-net. This action creates a route in my brain so that the next time I have the thought the reaction will be quicker and will have memory. When you have obsessive thoughts the route has a terrific memory and like a muscle has a very strong connection. In fact the though pattern becomes easier and second nature when the route is perpetually reinforced by the thought. So when trying to stop biting your nails, to stop drinking, to stop falling into old thought patterns such as victimized thinking you have to reroute your neuro-net patterns.  This is why it is so difficult to end an addiction as your brain has been specifically wired to your obsession and has been reinforced every time you have that particular thought. It is not all doom and gloom though; you can re-wire your brain to a new set of thought patterns which requires time and energy. So when I have stopped my obsessive thinking with food my brain quite naturally reverted to an old way of handling anxiety with OCD. It is funny because I have not had OCD thoughts for many years but it tells me I am on the right track to recovery. 

In conjunction with synapses firing and neuro-nets lighting up the brain like a lighting storm, your hypothalamus releases peptides through the blood stream to all your cells in the body. These peptides are chemicals that prepare your body for what is coming at you. For example, you are walking down the street you see a person being mugged, your synapses fire, your neuro-nets light up and you have past memories of similar situations flood your brain and the same time your synapses fire somewhere else in the brain and prepare you for the flight or flight reaction. Simultaneously your hypothalamus starts producing chemicals called peptides into the blood stream which cause you to have an elevated heart rate, eyes and pupils fully dilated and muscles ready for either sprint or fight. It is amazing how this whole processes happens in a fraction of a second. 

With addiction people are not just addicted to the vice itself but the chemical reaction with the body and the rush that comes with it. An example of this is an adrenaline junkie. These people are addicted to the chemical high that goes along with jumping out of planes or speeding in their cars. Same goes with a person with an eating disorder, the vice is feeling low about yourself and numbing out not just the chemical reaction with food. This may sound backward but here is the line of thought: When having a low self esteem moment the thought sets off this reaction: the synapses fire with the strong neuro-net which in turn the hypothalamus then releases calming peptides through the blood stream and out to the cells. Bizarrely the people with the low self esteem have an addiction with the chemical released by the hypothalamus and is reinforced in the brain with strong nuro-connections. Then when food is consumed a message gets sent to the hypothalamus of the brain and a flood of peptides are sent out again to calm the body. So you can see anyone can be addicted to anything from sex, internet, gambling, lying, emotions to food. Yes, chemically and neurologically you can be addicted to feeling bad about yourself or even addicted to perpetually being in the victim role.

To get rid of an addiction you must replace it with something. That something most times than not is love, love for one’s self and the general feeling of acceptance. So ask yourself these questions: Do you love yourself? Are you your own best friend? Most people’s initial reaction to those questions is to laugh but when faced by times of trial bottom line is you only have yourself day in and day out. When you start searching for happiness outside yourself it can be disappointing and when you rely on happiness outside of yourself that is co-depend and gets you nowhere. If you are addicted: you are a good person. You are heard, you seen, you are loved. Now believe it! Nuff said peace out and werd to your mums! Love from Courtney

                                                             Real OCD a merciless foe

                                                      What a fucking mess.

It Just Doesn't Matter - And Other Inspirational Sayings

                                  Want to see more cake wrecks? You have to check out cakewrecks.com
                                           I frequent this site, so good and so deliciously bad.


I have rewritten the anniversary gifts list, take note:

Anniversary

Traditional

Modern                  The Momma

1st

Paper

Clocks                     Hugs

2nd

Cotton

China                       Shorts

3rd

Leather

Crystal/Glass            Bacon

4th

Fruit/Flowers

Appliances               Fire

5th

Wood

Silverware                Marzipan

6th

Candy/Iron

Wood                      Puddings

7th

Wool/Copper

Desk Sets                A Mix Tape

8th

Pottery/Bronze

Linens/Lace             Vacuum

9th

Willow/Pottery

Leather                    Red Meat

10th

Tin/Aluminum

Diamond Jewelry      Loose Change

11th

Steel

Fashion Jewelry        Shoehorns

12th

Silk/Linen

Pearls                       Sandwiches

13th

Lace

Textile Furs               Talcum Powder

14th

Ivory

Gold Jewelry            Cellophane

15th

Crystal

Watches                   Religion

20th

China

Platinum                   Tarragon

25th

Silver

Silver                        Edible Bugs

30th

Pearl

Diamond                  Leeks

35th

Coral

Jade                         Llamas

40th

Ruby

Ruby                       Ointment

45th

Sapphire

Sapphire                  High Five

50th

Gold

Gold                        Salmon

60th

Diamond

Diamond                  Sand Art