Another day happened. Blissfully chaotic. My kind of fun. Thing 2 wakes up at 8:00 AM. I can hear him pushing his crib away from the wall and laughing maniacally. I go to his room. I expect a pee pond. Nothing! We are DRY! Thank Cheesus! Gather up the Things and head down stairs. Watch douchebag Thomas. Eat Shreddies. Thing 2 is dissatisfied with breakfast choice. Brings me skim milk powder. Insists this is what he wants. Put skim milk powder in bowl with a spoon. Thing 2 loves it. My loveable weirdo. Thing 1 is interested, I say no. The things beg for the Polar Express. Not feeling the Christmas cheer. Thing 1 insists it is Christmas tomorrow and that it is summertime. 4 year olds have it all figured out. Tell Things we are leaving to go on an adventure in 10 minutes. Thing 1 protests and asks 15 times where are we going? I still have not come up with a plan. I panic. I say, We are going crazy. Thing 1 yells, NO satisfied! I exclaim, ok I promise we will not go to satisfied. This answer seems to please Thing 1. Thing 2 insists we bring the Polar Express DVD case. Fine. Out the door we go. We go to our cute quaint downtown. We are going to do the circuit. Bakery, People's Choice Drug mart, Fountain, Snack, Train class (museum), bowling alley, sally-Ann, dollar store, park, home. Some mishaps along the way. Thing 2 walks into a pole. Thing 1 throws snack in fountain. The Things get kicked out of the museum for being too loud. Thing 1 wants to watch the trains for a half an hour. I say no, ten minutes. Thing 2 refuses to walk. Thing 2 shoves fist in his mouth. Gags. Almost throws up. Classic. Thing 2 is teething. Thing 2 likes to bite all of a sudden. Thing 1 finds a snail on a tree. Thing one throws snail into traffic. whatevs. I cringe. We make it home, barely. Thing 2 has gone nuclear. Meltdown in immanent. Thing 2 wants Polar Express I say sure. Ugh. Take Thing 2 to nap. Holy Shit he falls asleep. Thing 1 wants to bake. I am not eating sugar. Annoyed inside. Make cherry muffins. Thing 2 satisfied. Thing 2 makes a very complex deal that he can have 2. I say no. Thing 2 throws a train. It breaks. 2 problems instead of one. #Preschoolerproblems Try to fix train. Train is done for. Ironically it is Thomas. Feeling very satisfied. Must not show emotion. Play with Thing 2, Make dinner, unpack stroller, find a fig bar, fold 2 loads of laundry. Hubs comes home asks how days was, I say "satisfying" we hug. Thing 2 yells, "stop hugging momma!" Thing 2 has a lot of rules. No hugging daddy, no dancing, no singing, no high fiving daddy, no kissing daddy. I tell thing 2 How do you think you were made? I freeze, I realize I may have opened a can of worms. Thing 2 likes to ask why. It blows over, for now. One day. I will be ready. Walk around complex after dinner. Thing 1 and 2 hate Mexican food. I say too bad. Things beg for muffins. I tell them eat your veggies then you can have them. Moping ensued. Things finally ate veg. I am deeply satisfied. Time for bath and bed. Very Uneventful. Very blissful. Just completed pricing Tupperware for a big sale I am having. Need a back massage. Wanna do trade? Signing off. HUGS to the world and everyone in it.
No comments:
Post a Comment